


OF A WHITE LILY AND A RED FLAME

by ryuwatanabe



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Clumsy Chanyeol, F/M, Florists, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Tattoos, monster chanyeol, subaek moments, super power
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 10:38:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 24,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14714480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryuwatanabe/pseuds/ryuwatanabe
Summary: Being a flame, doesn't mean you have to be burn away, unwanted....Being water, doesn't mean you have to be drown alone....Together, they discovered each other...There is a way....-----------------------------------------------Chanyeol had always loved art … but meeting the real living proof of masterpiece himself left him an emotional ride too deep to be described in word!!!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> To the owner of the prompt, I hope you like it, although this fic seemed to deviate a bit from what you intend it to be. I enjoyed writing this to you.  
> Thank you to @softsuho for editing this story for me, and gave her honest opinion regarding this fic. Thank you for your time and patience ^^. Also thank you to Latika @ilovesuyeol and Ines for being there for words and encouragement.
> 
> Last but not the least, this fic is dedicated to Junmyeon as a gift for his 27th birthday. Happy Birthday Bunny king / Exo leader!!
> 
>  
> 
> #Prompt no 35;  
> (tattoo artist/ florist au); Junmyeon is the florist across the street, and it's not that Chanyeol finds him cute or anything, but he kind of wants to paint flowers on his skin...just because it would look pretty, probably.

Junmyeon always loved flowers, all sorts of them, the small, medium or large ones, the evergreen beauty that the flowers embodied reminded him of the mysterious feeling of love. Junmyeon always loved flowers, both the dull and bright ones (although he personally preferred the soft coloured ones), they possessed fragile beauty, thus, his small hands always handled them with utmost care. Junmyeon always loved flowers, he loved to sniff the sweet alluring scent coming from them, it had this kind of miraculous soothing effect on his heart. He loved the way the flowers smiled back at him, he literally could see the cheerful smile that they flashed towards him, it brightened up his day. He loved the way the flowers waved at him, how the leaves gracefully danced either to shyly greet him or to pay their gratitude, it was silent but yet so peaceful, it was a language that only Junmyeon could understand. Even though plenty of time had passed, Junmyeon was still mesmerized by the exuberant freshness of the flowers that was all over the place. He wasn't exaggerating to say, after all, Junmyeon was a romantic type of guy and a lover of flowers. He took it upon himself to be a lifetime flower enthusiast. He was wholeheartedly a florist.

Junmyeon was simple, the simplest kind of guy. He didn't want too much attention as it overwhelmed him, he was that kind of guy. With his master's degree in business, he supposed he could be somebody, he could be the brightest star that the world could offer, but yet he opted to be a nobody. Junmyeon was timid and insecure...He had this constant fear of people. He preferred to be alone because the most fearsome thing for him was to get hurt or to hurt others.

Besides, his parents and his elder brother, Kim Minseok, the flowers and the white little bunny were always there for him. At least, the flowers and the bunny wouldn't hurt him. Sometimes Junmyeon believed that animals and plants understood him better humans.

Junmyeon was soft, softest type of guy...innocent with a pure heart. A human personification of white lilies. Junmyeon was extremely kind, always polite and gentle like dew drops. He was a kind of guy whose kindness people took for granted. Junmyeon was someone who always smiled, and smiled and smiled, however, people never seemed to notice whether Junmyeon faked it or not. Junmyeon smiled the brightest when it was spring, his favourite season. For Junmyeon, the flow of the river, with multiple colours of flowers and green grass that rooted beside the flowers was a memorable sight.

____________________________________________

For someone who was an impersonification of sunshine, always full of radiance and energy, always so loud and had the tendency to make fool of himself, he was quite soft and bubbly inside. Unexpectedly, Chanyeol was romantic, well at least that's what he thought about himself when he found himself awkwardly standing in front of a flower shop across the street.

It was 14th February, valentine's day, when he tried to appear romantic. He was trying because most of the time, he didn't seem to be that romantic - instead, he looked dumb rather than cool, and indeed he was clumsy, with uncoordinated limbs. It was almost end of the winter season when he stepped into the floral shop for the very first time. He was new in that small town, he recently opened a tattoo shop -  thus he wanted to get to know his neighbours and an opportunity for socialising sounded too appealing to pass.

The shy snow slowly fell down from above, and Chanyeol stretched out his right-hand, feeling the snow that fell and melted in a blink of his eye. He smiled silently because of how lovely it was when the snow brushed against his bare hand. He enjoyed it idly.  Ah, he almost forgot the entire purpose of his visit as he stood in front of a sign that read 'Little Bloom'. The name sounded too precious too, he thought.

Not wanting to get lost in his thoughts, Chanyeol pushed the glass door. The bell's sound jingled in his ears, greeting him. He was in awe...almost..not totally yet.  A sweet fragrance of multiple flowers made its way into his nostrils. Before he even knew, he deeply inhaled, eyes closed tightly as if taking all of the overwhelming scents with his olfactory canals. He felt blessed with the heavenly scent.

"Hi, welcome to Little Bloom...Can I help you, sir?"

A soft honey-like voice greeted Chanyeol, cutting him off from his momentary bliss and the moment he opened his eyes again, he was awestruck by the beauty of the man who greeted him.

The man standing right before him was totally fascinating. His skin was very pale, rivalling the snow,  beautiful shining black hair and a pair of twinkling black pupils, giving a beautiful contrast to his fair complexion. His lips were small and naturally cherry red, with a small pointed nose, beautifully sculptured on his face...and to his surprise, this beautiful human being was small and tiny.

If this was the owner of the flower shop, then Chanyeol could see why...this man, was literally the most beautiful flower he had ever seen in his entire life. Even in his very humble apron, and simple white long-sleeved shirt, he still outshined everything.

"Hey, are you alright, sir? " the voice tried to wake him up from his trance.  A small hand waved in front of his eyes.

If he ought to answer, of course, he was not. But he just swallowed the answerback, his better judgement still able to save him from embarrassing himself furthermore. Chanyeol's eyes blinked several times before meeting another gaze - He legit stumbled in front of the owner of the flower shop.

"I ..uh...flower.." He stuttered incoherently.  He groaned internally, cursing his entire being for ruining his coolness in front of this newly found masterpiece. ( although he wasn't cool at all to begin with). Wait..why he should bother about his image in the first place? In his own misery,  Chanyeol literally shook his own brain into thinking more rationally  - he had this amazing girlfriend waiting for him at home, but why he was here, acting all whipped up just because of another guy's beauty.

Brace yourself, park chanyeol, he resonated with himself.

The petite florist in front him tried to hold his laughter, his face contorted in a funny way, he eventually gave up, bursting out with a small soft chuckle. He probably looked stupid, but then the melodious giggling that sounded like a chirping bird was too precious, it soothed his heart.

"Sorry...". the pale male said after calming down from his outburst, trying to gain composure. Chanyeol bet that this man's stomach was probably hurting because of the copious amount of laugh. He wasn't sure whether this was a good sign...of course, hearing the other's laugh was good, but making fool of himself wasn't.

"You're looking for flowers right?" the tiny florist continued his remaining words.

Yes, flowers. of course. what's else could he get from a flower shop? Although Chanyeol himself wasn't sure what kind of flowers he should get for his lover.

"Yeah..I' m looking for flowers although I'm not that very sure what kind of flowers I should get for her .." Chanyeol finally blurted out.

"Ah, I almost forgot... it's valentine's today.She must be your girlfriend right?" The florist seemed more excited than Chanyeol himself. "if that's the case, you're in the right place then."

"Yes!"  Chanyeol mumbled quietly.

"A bouquet right? tell me what do you prefer?. We have a great selection of flowers from the gorgeous classic red rose, the alluring lavender or the innocent white lily" the pale man eagerly exclaimed, hands gesturing here and there to where the flowers were placed. Chanyeol wondered if this man was always warm with strangers like him.

"It's not my first time buying her flowers, but still, I don't know myself what I want. Perhaps, something different..." Chanyeol replied frankly, giving out a vague answer. He probably looked lost. "So, can you lend me your help in finding the right flowers for her ?" he requested politely yet felt ashamed at the same time.

"Oh, that’s fine, I think I should be able to help you" the overexcited florist proudly announced. “So, let's give it a try..." he added with a determined looked in his eyes. "So, could you please describe your girlfriend a bit?"

Chanyeol was taken aback. He thought about his beloved for quite awhile, before replying, "She's beautiful, mysterious and cold on the outside. She loves attention. However, she deeply cares for me and looks after me."

Yes, it was true after all. Park Soo Young was a woman devoid of her own emotions, her way of showing affection was different from others. To be honest, it was hard to understand Soo Young, even after three years, he still couldn't understand her fully.

She was a kind of woman who showed a stoic face and seemed unbothered when she was with Chanyeol in public but later on, displayed her affection through leaving pink sticky notes all over Chanyeol’s apartment reminding him not to skip his meals.

The florist attentively listened to him before commenting “She sounds like a complex woman, let me see if I can find you something that’s suitable for her” he said before disappearing to the back, Chanyeol assumed it must be the greenhouse.

A moment later, the other came back with two different flowers, a vibrant and a fragrant one. "The purple rose is for her mysterious personality and the white tulip is for her sincere soul" He stated.

Chanyeol was unaware that flowers could have this kind of symbolism.

The florist's small hands agilely decorated and crafted the blossoming flowers. It was impossible to work fast without being harsh, but his small hands made it seem possible as he cleanly cut at the stem without tearing it.

It appeared as if his hands had their brains on their own, the creativity was overflowing through them into the flowers as he arranged them into a masterpiece - the white tulips surrounding the mysterious purple roses.

"Here we go!"

That sudden beam of voice jolted Chanyeol’s mind from his indefinite deep trance. It seemed that even with this short encounter, he had already had two episodes of brain inertia.

Chanyeol didn’t reply immediately causing the shorter male to confusedly ask "You don’t like it? "

Of course not, Chanyeol definitely loved the put-together bouquet of flowers. It was amazing, and breathtaking and wonderful and fantastic and every good word Chanyeol could think of.

"Of course not!! it's really lovely and I am sure my girlfriend will like it" Chanyeol said eagerly, trying his best to convince the already upset florist. "I only reacted that way because I'm new here I want to make new friends and talk to you more but you already finished your work." He added on quickly to explain his situation.

The florist giggled amused at Chanyeol's eagerness, he let out a sweet soft laugh, it was the most beautiful symphony Chanyeol had ever heard in his entire life, it was serenely melodious and like a gentle tweet of a bird.

"You should have just said that then" the florist teased. "I am Kim Junmyeon."  He shyly extended his right hand for a handshake.

"Nice to meet you, Junmyeon. I'm Chanyeol, Park Chanyeol."

If Chanyeol was honest, he didn't want to let go of the fragile hand that he held. Every fleeting moment felt so precious when Junmyeon's small hand was in his.

"By the way, I just opened a tattoo shop across the street recently. You’re welcome to visit anytime you want."

Then the rest of transaction went smoothly. Chanyeol paid for the bouquet and bid Junmyeon farewell. As he was about to leave, Junmyeon wished him “Happy Valentine’s day”

Chanyeol thought his eyes deceived him, but he saw a hint of sadness glimmer in Junmyeon's eyes. The hurt look in his eyes contradicted his superficial smile.

"Happy Valentine’s day to you too!" Chanyeol replied waving his hand before he left the shop.

Chanyeol spent the rest of his day thinking about the lonely smile that was plastered over Junmyeon’s face. He wanted to replace it with a genuine smile. He wanted to paint Junmyeon’s porcelain skin, cover it with flowers and preserve his happiness.

Certainly, there was something wrong with Chanyeol. Why was he so concerned about some stranger’s well-being? and what was with this strange urge to paint Junmyeon's face with flowers?

 

 

 

 

 

 

First day of March eventually hit the calendar, and so did the lively spring slowly replaced the melted snow of winter. 

Once in a month, on the first day, he was expecting the arrival of someone to his 'Little Bloom' shop. 

It had been three years all along, since the business was entrusted to him after the death of the original owner of the shop, Madam Han. It was not the blood line that define their relationship, nor how long they had known each other, money or other material things..  but mutual passion and pure enthusiasm were the one which united them. 

Besides Madam Han, Junmyeon also got to know Lu Han, one of her eldest nephews. He was the only relative who seemed to be closed enough to her, paying her a visit once in every week or two weeks. 

Junmyeon always cherished every moment that he had with Madam Han, an old chinese woman he only got to know when she was at the edge of her life - she was already passing through the dusk age with dreadful illness that seemed mercilessly plucked away every possibility of her to gain happiness even at the slightest. Still, she said she felt grateful that Junmyeon came into her life, when she was just barely clinging onto her own life.  For Junmyeon, it was grateful and regretful moments all at the same time. 

Madam Han was always so kind, affectionate to Junmyeon.  She treated him like her own youngest son or grandson. ( He found out later that she never had child on her own). Already wrinkle grew on her pale skin, some part of her lock already turned grey, but her beauty never fade away. Her smile was always so warm, it kept on repeating in Junmyeon's mind. He couldn't forget that already wrinkled, fragile hands still wanted to play and feel the sand between her fingers. He couldn't forget the way Madam Han talked about flowers to him with so much love -  longing and fond look were clearly reflected in that round eyes whenever she eyed the blooms. 

She should have rest properly at home, but still she wanted to spend  every last breath in the greenhouse. Seeing those little seeds grown into beautiful flowers gave her so much happiness. And Junmyeon was always being there for her, accompanying her every walk, every move, every laugh that tried to hide and wrap every pain that she had. 

Time was a cruel enemy - every second was passing by seemed to slowly steal away every moment that Junmyeon had with Mrs Han. He wanted to hold her hands for a little bit longer, guiding her walk through out the garden full of flowers, hugging her in his arms, comforting her in every way that he knew that could relief the misery.

Junmyeon always knew, her illness was total tormenting. Already underwent surgery and multiple chemotherapy, but still her breast cancer not completely cure, it went more furious and wild. 

Soon, the cancer took over her entire body, she knew it was time for her to give up.

She was becoming weaker and weaker and weaker - Her every step became more sluggish, her every breath became hitch, it was more painful to breath in. The most devastating part was, she could no longer hold back Junmyeon's hand.

Madam Han didn't have much time left.. she always knew it. Sixty-three years were too much to hold, even more with the illness. 

Death was inevitable fate. The only permanent termination of all suffering. The irony of her fate was how she met her end of route. 

It was  serenely autumn season of Junmyeon's second year knowing Madam Han. Mrs Han had always loved flower, Junmyeon prayed that she could meet another spring although he knew she probably couldn't make it. 

The ill kind lady was bed ridden for almost one month, her eyes could barely open. Still, she wanted to see another kind of blossom beneath the autumn's ray - Madam Han once said that the dull golden leaves was flowers of the autumn, although they might be lacking of lustre.

On her last day, she was lying on the bed, besides the opened window. Junmyeon and Lu Han sat besides her, each of them holding her already weak clammy hands, barely left her side. 

"It's very beautiful outside. Look at that leaf...." Her feeble voice was barely heard even in that silent, dim room. Tears already welled up at the corner of her eyes. 

Both Junmyeon and Lu Han turned their gaze toward the golden coloured leaf which had been slowly fallen down, the gentle breeze swirled the leaf, making it danced on the air for a while...

Once the leaf grazed the ground, Junmyeon and Lu Han tightened their grip on the fragile hands. But both of them knew, that was her final breath, because the moment they looked back at her, her eyes already closed forever....

At the age of 63 years old, Madam Han was like a beautiful falling leaf in the autumn, she might lack splashes of the lustre colours that belong to spring, but her love was everlasting and eternal - the leaf is so selfless, it willing to fall and decay to let new flower bloom...

Now the falling leaf had rest in peace....

"Thank you so much, Madam Han....."

_____

 

'Ring...ring ...'

The doorbell chimed, jolting Junmyeon from his deep thought. He was staring blankly at the white lily when he heard the ring sound. 

A familiar face could be seen slipped through the glass door. Yes, he was expecting for this man's arrival.  His face was too familiar to Junmyeon because it reminded him of Madam Han - Her beauty was reincarnated on that gentle face. Lu Han, the handsome guy he knew since the past two years, was the one whose  monthly supplied  seed and fertilizer to Junmyeon .More than that, Junmyeon thought, he couldn't make it without this Chinese guy - the business wouldn't survive if not without this guy's aid. 

The brunette with doer like eyes flashed a dazzling smile before walking toward him. 

"Hey, what are you doing, Junmyeon?" he greeted. 

"Talk to the flower and bunny as usual..." Junmyeon replied, suddenly busying himself wiping the counter. "Would you like something to drink, Lu Han?" he asked, without looking back. Junmyeon knew he was acting weird around Lu Han even though the other was not foreign to him. That handsome face was kind of distracting, so he better avoid looking at him. 

"Hmm, interesting...I never know you have that ability..." Lu Han commented sarcastically, before comfortably sitting on the chair in front the counter- one hand rest on the counter, while the other crutched his chin. Lu Han was usually gentle, but part of him had this audacity to do whatever he wanted. "Anyway, can i have coffee?"

Junmyeon disappeared into kitchen, before coming back few minutes later with two cups of coffee. He gently placed them in front of Lu Han before sitting across the other. He sipped the hot coffee as his eyes still refused to meet Lu Han's. 

"Junmyeon- ah, look at me..." Lu Han pleaded.

 

Junmyeon knew it was useless, he couldn't avoiding Lu Han's eyes ever since forever, so he gave in. He looked back at the chinese guy, but still didn't say any word. 

 

"What you're thinking..Junmyeon-ah?" Lu Han asked again, once Junmyeon looked back at him. Lu Han, was a kind - _ge_ who always so caring about him, a type of guy who always so insistent, but never overbearing, he was loveable, Junmyeon if ever could, wanted him to be by his side, couldn't afford to lose him by any mean...

Junmyeon contemplated for his words for a while. 

 

So, if he was going to confess his love, there is a risk of loosing somebody who was important to him -- it was a risk that Junmyeon didn't even dare to take. 

He rather locked his feeling inside rather than losing his best friend ...

"I..i miss Madam Han..."  Junmyeon half lied but it was true that he was deeply missing that old lady, that old lady who always showered him with a lot of affection, but it wasn't supposed the answer. 

Lu Han just smiled, his eyes looked at Junmyeon fondly. "If that was the case, just stare at my handsome face. I got a lot of comments saying my face resemble her in many ways..." he said while patting Junmyeon's lock. 

If Luhan thought that his words would help, then he utterly didn't. Junmyeon didn't like it in many ways- Lu Han was being oblivious was one thing, looking at his handsome face was the other thing, and last but not the least, he never wanted to be treated like a younger brother by Lu Han. 

Having an internal fight in front of the crush didn't help in many ways either.

"Madam Han asked me to take care of you well. Of course there's no need for me to tell you that, but if you feel any trouble, you can always tell me. Even if i can't help much, at least you'll feel better..."

Lu Han's words was comforting, but the words always so heavy in his chest, even so more to spill them out, as if they stuck in his throat, he felt like chocking. 

He ended up swallowing back his words...It taste bitter, but he better endured it. 

"I'm okay, don't worry so much about..." Junmyeon reassured...but the look of inconvenience never left his face, and Lu Han was pretty quick to catch it up. 

The turn of conversation seemed to be the better option, at least at the moment...

"Ah, I saw one new shop across the street before coming in.." Lu Han said, gulping the coffee down his throat. 

"It's tattoo shop...The owner already came here twice. He's nice....but awkward a bit" Junmyeon replied. Unknowingly, a his lips formed a small smile. Flashes of memories flipped into his mind - that pair of yoda's ears seemed waving forever,  his husky deep voice, his clumsy long limbs, his large hands but look so gentle handling flowers and his white bunny....

"By the way, where's your brother, Minseokki..." Lu -Han asked while feeding the white bunny sitting on his lap. 

"I heard somebody mentioning my name ..."

Their serene conversation had been broken...

A loud cheerful voice that just came straight from the opening of glass door was not mistakenly belong to his elder brother, Kim Minseok. His  adorable cat eyes peeked through the opening, blinking for several times. 

"For how long you've been there...just come in already, you idiot..." Lu Han sneered

Junmyeon sighed, feeling his tense eased a bit with Minseok's presence. There would be no longer silence as they started exchanging words, with occasional yelling sound could be heard across the room, but they never had serious fight. Lu Han and Minseok friendship was made by roasting each other, with added spice in their words but in the midst of their havoc, they took care not to involve Junmyeon. 

War outside, but at least they had this peace in mind, because Lu Han and Minseok had always been frank and honest to each other.

So it was not exaggerating to say, if both of them quiet, there was probably something wrong going on. Junmyeon would rather worried if both of them being too polite than being plain honest with each other.

The three of them began carrying fertilizer and seed from Lu Han's truck to the store. They chatted for a while, with Junmyeon slowly sliding away from conversation, busying arranging the stocks at the back, it not too far from Lu Han and Minseok, so he could interrupt here and there. 

Lu Han finally left the shop, waving farewell several times, but the conflict in his heart didn't..it remained there since the rest of forever, inflicting more ache, and the only irony was.. he felt fear to end it once and for all. 

Junmyeon sighed meaninglessly, could only look at the truck which gradually disappeared from his sight. 

"Bunny, do you think Lu ge like me too? hmmm..." Junmyeon questioned the white rabbit in his arm, bringing the poor bunny closed to his face, facing him ....

The white fluffy creature could only stare back at him innocently..."huh, he likes me too...really?" Junmyeon rhetorically asked, slightly pushing the rabbit's head to nod at him. He smiled like an idiot, grinning at his own joke. Not exactly funny, but he felt happy.  

"Talking to bunny doesn't help, Myeonni, you should confess..."

Minseok's words snapped his delusional rhetoric exclamation. Junmyeon frowned, the small talk that he had with his little bunny was the only thing that could comfort him, why his only hyung opposed it, although not too deep. 

His heart sore a bit, but not that much, cause Minseok was always so gentle saying his say, but Junmyeon, just being young to Minseok couldn't help but pouting. 

"Sorry Myeonni, you can't keep dreaming. If you like him, talk about it to him..." the elder paused, ruffling the younger's black lock, looking fondly at him. "Am I right, bunny? " he asked, starring at the innocent rabbit in his arms. 

"But...." Junmyeon stammered. 

"No but... anyway, I am always here for you, you know right?" Minseok cut him off - Giving no space for argument

Junmyeon always knew. He felt grateful, always, because Minseok, forever being his reliable hyung. 

He was about to enter back his shop, resuming back his work, but the sight of new tattoos shop just across the street caught his eyes. The shop was always been there just about recently, but he rarely giving it second thought.

 

**PHOENIX ART**

 

That the name stated on the sign board. Junmyeon cited queitly. It strangely sound cool.  

The images of that tall lanky guy, with grey hair peeped up again. He was uncoordinated, but in weird way Junmyeon thought Chanyeol was kinda cool. 

Instead of freaking out, may be he should give himself a chance to venture new people. 

"What do you think about Park Chanyeol, huh?"  again, Junmyeon asked the bunny, "He's nice right?" 

It has been nearly 2 weeks since the shop had been operated, and Chanyeol had visiting him for at least three times. The time frame was short, but there was so many things about Chanyeol that he learned. 

That kid, who appeared rude, but he always cared about his surrounding, always sensitive, he knew how to cherish people. That kid, who always looked tough and rough but Park Chanyeol guy was literally big puppy, always soft inside, loved to be patted and to be shown affection. He was bright, smart and gifted with so many talents as well, always excited to learn new thing and naturally a fast learner.

Chanyeol loved to talk about Park Soo Young. Junmyeon was more than happy to know that she loved the bouquet that Chanyeol gave her. As a florist, it self satisfying to know his work was appreciated by the couple. More than anything, his heart was overwhelmed to know that love bloomed even more between them. 

Junmyeon never met Soo Young, but he was certain that she was perfect match for Chanyeol. His heart eager to meet her too. 

It was decided then...

It was just a small step to overcome his own fear, but Junmyeon wanted to give it a try. 

Instead of Chanyeol coming to his shop, today it was going to be his turn to visit his tattoos shop. This time, he wanted to be the one who initiate....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Hey, cutie!!!"

 His yoda's ears could clearly hear the loud wooing from where he was now. He ignored it. Obviously it was not for him.  Byun baekhyun existence himself full of flirtation. He mean no harm.  But, Chanyeol in his current setting obviously would - with Tattoo machine was still in his hands, puncturing the deeper layer of the skin, it was lethal to the client if Chanyeol driffted  his mind even for split sceond . 

Continuing his craft, he paid no mind. The sound then muffled, but only for a while. 

"Chanyeol, you have a guest...." 

Chanyeol was tattoing one of his client when his business partner, Byun Baekhyun, who was taking part in charge the counter at that moment, called him out. 

"Who's that?" Chanyeol asking back, raising his voice, just so the other side could heard him. The service room and the counter was not that far, so he didn't have to strain his vocal cord. This kind of arrangement was nice because both him and baekhyun loved to communicate conventionally.

"He said he's Junmyeon .." Baekhyun yelled. 

Now, he minded..

Hearing that name almost gave him a heart struck, his super clumsy hands almost made a mistake in sketching, but the acute awareness enabled him to gain control over his fumbling hands. 

His business currently not yet receiving promising response, barely gaining customer, so he couldn't afford to ruin it, even more causing fatality. . 

"Give me another 20 minutes, by the way, I almost finish...." he exclaimed.  

Talking and chatting (and flirting?) was totally Baekhyun's specialty. He was loud, annoying but in charming way. He knew his limit, he knew when to stop - He was totally harmless ...but this is Junmyeon hyung, his tiny hyung we are talking about....so..

Chanyeol became hyperaware, not that he didn't trust his sometime bratty- but - in -a- good -way friend. Not that, it was just that....

He felt Junmyeon hyung was too precious...

Too innocent ...

___

He finished five minutes earlier than expected. 

''Hi.." he greeted, once he came out from the sterile room .

Baekhyun at the counter took over the remaining business with the client. 

"Hi, Chanyeol..." Junmyeon granted Chanyeol a gentle smile. He must look completely bewildered that Junmyeon, as if he could read his mind, quickly resumed. "I'm here because i want to give you guys this " The elder timidly said, showing him a medium size food container, before handing it to Chanyeol "It's nothing much, but i hope you guys like it.." 

"what's in there?" curious voice of Baekhyun mingled the otherwise lack of spark in conversation-it was not that Chanyeol was a quiet person, but it was more like he became self conscious in front of this hyung.  

"It's muffins, but they're not for you, Hyun..." Chanyeol quickly replied, playfully dissing the other shorter male, rolling his eyeballs to show his disgruntled.

Baekhyun pouted. 

"By the way hyung, don't worry, chanyeol will eat them well," Baekhyun reassured, but more like sneering back at him. 

Junmyeon just comfortably chuckled at the Baekhyun's remark. "Of course you could also have them, Baekhyun..." Junmyeon gently said, soothing the not so bitter Baekhyun. "Anyway, where's Soo Young? You can share them with her too..." 

The question hit Chanyeol that he never brought his girlfriend to the other's shop. 

"Ah, she's working at one of child day care nearby. But I think, it's almost over now...." Chanyeol didn't even have a chance to complete his sentence when an appearance of a tall slim figure wearing red dress caught his eyes through the glass window.  "By the way, she's already here..."he said, making an eye contact with Junmyeon's to follow the trail. 

"Hi..." She greeted once she slide in through the glass door.  Chanyeol, Baekhyun and Junmyeon greeted back in unison. First greeting was always hardest as Soo Young never met Junmyeon before, but Chanyeol wasted no time in introducing the elder to her. He occasionally talked about Junmyeon to Soo Young, it just that they never met each other before, so them getting to know each other was not a hard job at all. 

Soo Young was not that type who showed her affection even to chanyeol, but her cool demeanour changed when it came to Junmyeon, and it's surprise Chanyeol a bit. Not that particularly affectionate like Baekhyun, but Chanyeol could tell, So young still had this soft and warm side in her. 

"Woah, it's so delicious...oppa should teach me next time..."  Soo Young complimented Junmyeon's baking, while munching the chocolate muffins. 

Junmyeon fondly grinned, didn't know what exactly to reply, saying it's nothing, but nevertheless said he would if Soo Young want. 

They chatted for a while before parting. The business was about to wrap anyway. It was their day to day routine, with Soo Young made a stop in the evening so that they could go home together. Having Baekhyun as a business partner was a real blessing, although he seemed carefree most of the time, but actually he was serious when it came to work. He usually the one who was handling the closing of the shop, so that Chanyeol and Soo young could go back earlier. Nothing was different today except the additional of Junmyeon and they were working together tidying up the shop.

"He's cute.." Soo Young simply said on their way home. There was a tease tone in her voice, and it was kind of odd when she said that only behind his back, because she got all the opportunity to say that right in front of him. 

They were holding each other's hand, swinging them idly back and forth in between. 

Despite a bit awkwardness, Chanyeol couldn't help, but silently agreed, indeed Junmyeon was cute. .

A cute hyung... 

 

 

 

 

 

  

Getting closer also meant that getting to know people better, vice versa and the vicious cycle continues. Four months already passed by since Junmyeon first met Chanyeol, it was a good amount of time, but it didn't prepare Junmyeon that well for breaking up the wall. Times was flying too fast, but he didn't ready for anything yet...

Well, that was happening when So Young hit him with casual question, but he never expecting that at that particular moment. 

"Junmyeon oppa, do you happen to have any girlfriend.." So Young asked one day, when she was at Junmyeon's kitchen, learning to bake muffin cup cake from Junmyeon. 

Junmyeon was taken aback. There's was curiosity resonated in her voice, but more than that, she sounded purely concern about him as a friend. He could appreciate just as much, wanting to reciprocate as well, but there was still an invisible barrier that he didn't dare to break it yet. He felt uneasy, although he knew So Young was always so pure heated, possess no judgemental mind if he said something odd about himself. 

He really wanted to run away from his own home, right now, disappearing forever and never come back....

As if she could sense discomfort in him, Soo Young resumed, "Because you are handsome, cute and kind, it's almost impossible you still single," She tried to ease away any doubt in him. 

Junmyeon thought he must be very obvious that So young could sense how uncomfortable was him when she asked about that question. Sometimes, he hated himself for being obvious, his feeling was too genuine it sometime showed off just likes that, he hated himself for unable to fake otherwise. 

"Don't worry, I'm not going to dig in down further if you felt uncomfortable to tell us anything..." So Young smiled re ensure. 

"It's not like that...." Junmyeon attempted to retort So Young's words, but being cut off...

Chanyeol who was sitting at the dining table, suddenly interrupted the conversation. Knowing Junmyeon, it's impossible not to notice his change. It was easy to discern how his smile faltered, how his eyes no longer twinkled in delight, they subtly became dull. 

May be he knew Junmyeon enough to notice the changes or may he paid too much attention to his hyung, that even the slightest bit of change would not escape his notice. 

"It's okay Junmyeon hyung if you're still single. It's not that bad thing either.."

It was not his first time seeing his most favorite hyung like this, emotionally vulnerable but still trying hard to hold on. Faking his smile, but sharp eyes could easily catch on.

The first time he saw the same look on Junmyeon's beautiful face was during their first time encountering each other. As far as he could remember this was the second time, and it was best to say it was related to the same theme -love. 

Chanyeol wondered if there was anything else he could provide to the elder beside comforting words. If only he able to cut himself into two....one for Soo young, another for ...

"Yeah, Chanyeol is right . It's not bad thing for being single, also...I'm still single and available..." Out of nowhere, Baekhyun's voice could be heard across ths kitchen, trying to light up the mood. He was at living room, but it seemed that he also eavesdropped the conversation. 

Chanyeol could literally see Baekhyun's flirtious wink, although baekhyun was not with them. 

For certain reason, Chanyeol hated his best friend for still single and available, hated his gut for talking of his mind out loud without fear being dislike, able to casually joke around without any filter but still able to maintain a full insight of his sorrounding. He may seem to be a type of guy who play around a lot, but he always attentive toward others. 

That natural charm, Byun Baekhyun was likeable by everyone. Chanyeol felt a little bit surge of envious, because who wouldn't? 

Chanyeol usually had high self esteem and confidence level, but it was odd enough that at this moment he felt threatened. 

Yeah, he didn't even have any strong reason to feel any sort of vulnerability, but that's what he felt right now. 

"Baekhyun, aren't you by any mean, trying to say that you're gay? sorry if I've miss understood something here " Junmyeon sounded awry a bit to ask, but cleared his confusion anyway. 

Baekhyun never bite people, needless to say. 

"you're not wrong to say that..." He yelled, surprisingly proud of himself . "But more likely bi to be exact..." he clarified further. 

Junmyeon bite his own lower lip, contemplating to say something. It's call a lot of courage to come out, and Junmyeon was always so insecure anything about himself. He didn't realise his lower lip already started dripping blood. 

"Hey, are you okay.. Myeonni hyung?" Chanyeol gently asked, knocking Junmyeon's deep trance. 

"Ah, of course..I'm okay..."Junmyeon fidgeted a little. Only then he could taste the rusty taste at the corner of his mouth. 

"Because it's doesn't seem like that to me...mind to share with us Junmyeon oppa?" Soo Young concernly queried. 

Junmyeon fisted his own hands and took a deep breath. He really appreciated the concern, care and attention that all of them gave to him. 

May be this time, he should pay back their concern. He wanted to entrust them his little secret. After all, although their friendship was still new and green, was built under the name of trust, care, conviction and will. 

"I...." Junmyeon stuttered, looking at the other three, exchanging gaze in between. Baekhyun was already joining them, plopping into one of the chair. He looked so eager to listen, even more didn't want to be the last person to know. "I like this one person, we've known each other for longest time...but, i don't know whether our feeling is mutual or not..."

Chanyeol thought he was well ready with anything that could have come out from Junmyeon's mouth, but how irony, he wasn't. In fact, his heart felt like dropping from very deep cliff....

The taste of bitterness from the newfound squeezed his heart a bit, although not too much, but it was enough to suffocate him. Luckily, Baekhyun was there, his sunny like trait was useful at this particular moment - at least he could hide his disgruntlement somewhere in between his joyful, loud laugh. 

It was difficult to hide his feeling all alone....

"Why didn't you confess oppa? Pretty sure she will like you back..." So Young asked. 

"Wait a minute, do we know that person, hyung? Cause you never tell anything about it." This time, Baekhyun cut off the conversation, pounding Junmyeon with another question. 

It took a few moments as Junmyeon was contemplating, one after another, they seemed to be difficult questions...

Perhaps, they were not that difficult after all, but to deliver the answers were....His throat felt dry although he already gulped a glass of water earlier...

"It's a guy actually.."the answer finally spilled out from his lips . "I don't think you guys know about him cause he rarely around. He just drops here likes once a month to deliver seed and fertilizer..." 

Ah, talking about a guy who only dropped around once every month or sometime twice, Chanyeol thought he had seen that mentioned guy...it was just that he never meet the other face to face.  Chanyeol only had a glance at him from far away, from his own shop, but although from the distant, that was enough for him to give a picture what Junmyeon's crush look like. 

He was tall, although not as tall as Chanyeol, he was definitely taller than Baekhyun. Having brunette hair, his frame was lithe, although Junmyeon could be smallest among them. Chanyeol never have a close look on his face, but he was certainly handsome, so there's no surprise to know that Junmyeon had little (large) crush on that guy. 

"I've seen him several times. He's so handsome, i see why you like him ..." Chanyeol mumbled. 

"Woah...really?" teasing Baekhyun quickly cooed at Junmyeon. 

Junmyeon blushed. He really looked like a high school girl, looking shy all over after being teased about his crush.   " That's not it..," he softly denied, although not that strong, cause really, who could ever deny Luhan's look? But at the same, Junmyeon reminded himself, that was not all about it. 

Yes, Lu Han was more than a look. His personality did justice to his face. He was naturally charming all over. Soft outside, but strong inside. Outgoing but never overstep his boundary. The Chinese man always cared about Junmyeon like his own younger brother.

The thought being treated that way made Junmyeon uncomfortable. Romantic feeling shouldn't be harboured that way.....

"Back to our main topic, how  could you  know that your love unrequited or not if you never let him know your feeling, oppa? you have nothing to lose if you confess. At least, he know... reciprocating or not is another story...." Soo Young recommended. 

Things always get easier said than done. Execute what was being told, what he himself tried to convince was never being easy. 

Overwhelming fear, self doubt, insecure and many other feelings were all messing up his thought process. Not that he never wanted to give it a try, but every single time, for unknown weird reason, he just couldn't. All he just needed to tell was 'i-love-you' but that three miracle words didn't come out from him. 

The words seemed like forever tied up at the tip of his tongue. Lips felt like being glued together from uttering what he was intending to say. His throat felt dry ever seem forever. 

He could tell Lu Han everything but that words...it was kind of frustrating ...

Junmyeon already tired of trying....

Was it a curse or something?

"Hey Joy, you know may be it's not that easy, especially for Junmyeon hyung..." Baekhyun broke the pause of silence when Junmyeon unable to reply back.

Junmyeon gulped, looking at Baekhyun. There was too much thought and consideration in his words and he was forever grateful to this guy...

"Ah, sorry Junmyeon oppa if I hurt you. .." Soo Young profusely apologized. 

"That's okay...I know you only said that cause you're concern about me ..you only want the best for me...so, thank you.." said Junmyeon. He was blessed to have them in his life - this group of friends, he learned so many things from them. With this group of friends, his dull life was no longer plain and lifeless, it had variety of colours. It was a blessing to be surrounded by a group of people who had different personalities, but at the same could nullify each other. 

All of them had different ways of showing their affection, but at the end, all they cared for was to love....

"Part of it is my fault too, for not fully open up myself to you guys... although you guys always wanting to know more about me..."Junmyeon admitted. He got better socialize ever since meeting them, but what he had told them, only just a tip from the iceberg. 

"I afraid with so many things, not only for confession itself. I've been in relationships before, but all of them ended dreadfully..."  he heard his own voice muffled. He looked again at his best friends,  they seemed patiently waiting for him to finish his remaining words...the glint in their eyes showed encouragement and no force, and Junmyeon gained his courage. "Either we were breaking up or my lovers...died...I don't want to experience that kind of heartbreak again..."  Junmyeon just stopped at that point, deciding that he didn't need to tell the detail. what he had tell was enough. 

He felt fear to fall deeper in love just to lose again, the dearest person in his life. 

His life was full of curses when he was in love. Was his love life had been fated that way? Was it kind of his destiny? 

"You mean, you think your whole life has been cursed to only loosing again? " asked Baekhyun, trying to fathom what was there in Junmyeon's mind. Baekhyun was sharp, it was always easy even for Junmyeon who was not that good in expressing himself. 

Junmyeon weakly nodded, embarrassing by his own weakness, although he knew he didn't need to - this bunch of friends never judge him for anything. 

"Hyung, you'll miss the chance if you let your own fear stopping you from pursuing your own happiness...., " Chanyeol reassured his hyung. "You never know, may be that Lu Han guy is the one for you. You might be unlucky or fail for thousands times, but please don't stop...." 

Chanyeol never knew the words of encouragement could came from him, when he pretty sure there was a pang of jealousy buried in his heart. Yes, he said those words, but it was not without feeling burn inside. 

But for his hyung sake, he wanted to be selfless, only this time, he wanted to cheer  him up  to the most. Chanyeol wanted to be there for this most precious, the most innocent white lily he ever met, he wanted to support him in his every little step of pursuing his happiness even if, for under certain circumstances, he could not fall in love with Junmyeon.

He didn't want to let his selfishness overthrow his love for Junmyeon. He genuinely wanted Junmyeon to be happy, that was all the wish he could best ever think, he could ever hope. 

And, the last thing he ever wish  for his little white lily, his hyung was for him to get withered, wilted over the time, remain alone....

Cheering up people used to be the easiest task for him, but not this time, not because of this whirlwind feeling that he harboured for Junmyeon, but Chanyeol knew better than anyone, this was the best thing he could offer to his hyung, when he found himself saying "I'll always cheer you up Junmyeon hyung...so please, don't give up your hope ..."

He tasted his own words, the bittersweet, at the tip of his tongue. Still, he flashed his brightest smile, he faked to look genuine. How irony, but his eyes couldn't even lie properly when he caught baekhyun's, glancing back at him, giving him an incredulous look. He knew his best friend probably sense something wrong in him. 

He also foresee that he was going to have serious conversation with Baekhyun later on...he better prepared himself to be under Baekhyun's taunting doubt and suspicion. 

Chanyeol decided to worry about that later...perhaps, Baekhyun already realised about this earlier.

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey chanyeol, I think we should talk..."

"About what?"

"Don't pretend you don't know...."

"Okay, what do you want to talk about?"

"About Junmyeon hyung...do you like Junmyeon hyung?..."

 

Baekhyun's voice didn't sound hard at all, but the sharpness in that question penetrated straight to the core, paralyzing chanyeol from answering. 

 

He had known all along, Baekhyun would eventually engaged him, and he thought he had prepared himself enough to answer it, however when the time comes, he never well prepared - It still send him off guard. 

 

There was silence numbness for a while before Chanyeol mustering all of his to reply. Knowing Baekhyun, this persistent guy would provide no escape...

 

"At first, I just thought my feeling to him was nothing serious, I mean I just admired him as a masterpiece...but I think, now it grows into something else that even myself couldn’t comprehend..."Chanyeol weakly answered, sounded unsure. After all, what he felt was still confusing to himself, how could it possible for him to answer the other?

 

He weighted the words before continuing, fully aware every possible implication that would come after.  Every word felt so heavy at the tip of his tongue. 

"You know me best right? You know that I' m fucking straight right? "

Baekhyun just nodded.

 

"But, why is the hell it seems that I just can't forget about him? Why is the hell his face always stuck in my mind? Why is the hell I felt jealous when you kinda flirt with him?" 

 

“And... why is the hell, I don't want Junmyeon hyung to be together with Lu Han?”

"So .... tell me Baekhyun, why is the hell I have all of these feeling toward him? "

 

Chanyeol deeply stared into Baekhyun's eyes, as if seeking for answer, substantiation that he already had known all along. He squeezed Baekhyun's both shoulder hard enough, and if it wasn’t for the jean material in between, the dig could have cause bleed. 

 

Many things to say and nothing to say, all at the same time. Baekhyun gave Chanyeol a bone crush hug, comforting the taller guy. This big puppy probably had his own trouble, perhaps all he need was an understanding. 

 

"I understand, it's not totally your fault. You can't totally control your own feeling...I'm sorry, I should have act earlier, but I just let it slip ..." Baekhyun attempted to make Chanyeol felt better by taking half of the blame.

 

The kindness in Baekhyun's words clicked Chanyeol's heart, and he sobbed even more in that comforting hug. 

 

"I know it's not my place to say anything about love, cause I yet to feel the real one, but...you can't love two people, Chanyeol ..." said Baekhyun. It was not something unknown, but he need to remind his best friend to come to his sense. "Please pull yourself together!!! Please forget Junmyeon hyung..please ..you can't afford to lose Soo young.."

 

In his sobbing mess, Chanyeol could clearly heard Baekhyun's words - they sounded soft, but actually firm...They sounded cruel, but actually there was full of unheard kindness. Gentle but yet powerful...He had lost the count on how many times Baekhyun had showed up to him how amazing he was as a friend. 

 

To forget the one he couldn't forget, to erase from his memory the one who already left mark too deep in his heart.... Chanyeol unsure by himself whether he could keep his words or not, but in the midst of heart wrecking, he finally said "I will."

 

The words being said, the promised being chanted, Chanyeol knew this was the moment he should let it go, every desire in him to paint Junmyeon -The dream in his mind which remain unsaid, even to Baekhyun. 

 

Baekhyun hugged Chanyeol even tighter, knowing how much desperation in the other's heart, but he got to do what he got to do. He didn't say much word, but trying to ease the desperation.

 

"I'm here for you .." he whispered. 

 

 

 

 

 

Junmyeon nerved all day long when Lu Han invited him for dinner tonight.  He couldn't spend to sit properly even for just mere second as he moved restlessly to and fro all the time. 

 

Junmyeon's acting like a mother cat who lost her kitten amused Minseok, earning chuckled from the elder. 

 

"Can you just sit still for a second? I feel giddy looking at you..."

 

"Ah, sorry hyung..I can't help myself. You know this is my first time to have dinner together with Lu Han, alone..." Junmyeon blushed, feeling heat creeping all over his neck. 

 

"Uwu..." Minseok cooed. "But really, just relax...." 

 

Despite being counselled, uneasy look in Junmyeon still unfaded, and he bite his nail nervously with top leg waggled continuously.

 

"Tell me what's your worry?" asked Minseok. 

 

" OMG, everything ...I think I wanna pee all the time..." Junmyeon groaned. "What should I do, what should I wear, and what should I say, Minseok hyung, I think I’ gonna throw up just from these thoughts.." he already started to lose his coherent talk.

 

"First of all, please take a deep breath, your favourite hyung is here..."  Minseok instructed Junmyeon for deep breathing, with Junmyeon comically followed, lips pursing, eyes closed, as if concentrating fully. "Second, you practically don't have to do anything .. and Lu Han still likes you regardless." Minseok playfully rolled his eyeballs. "Third, Lu Han probably like it more if you didn't wear anything..." he joked, earning him an annoyed smack on his right shoulder from grumpy Junmyeon. Minseok continued, "Fourth, you don't have to say anything...and last but not the least...Just be yourself, you'll be fine...."

 

"So, I should just do nothing?" Junmyeon innocently asked, wanting to clarify more. 

"What I mean to imply is, he will like you if he liked you...If he really liked you, he will like you the way you are..." Minseok patiently explained. He smiled, looking fondly at Junmyeon, ruffling his hair. His younger brother was already 27 years old independent guy, but some time he really looked like a child, especially when he was in love. 

 

Junmyeon visibly beamed.  An innocent glitter sparkling in his eyes, like those of a child. "Really?"  the younger asked, to reaffirm again, an excitement laced in his soft voice.

 

Minseok really didn't have to reply back, but he would do anything for Junmyeon. He knew the younger already calm down a bit, at least fifty percent of his nerve, he just need to rectify it. "Of course ..." Minseok confidently replied. 

 

"Thank you, hyung..." Junmyeon gave Minseok a bone crushing hug. "You're the best Hyung..." he said cheerfully, he seemed to forget his apprehension once and for all. Minseok sighed out of in relief, he was at ease toward certain extend. 

_____

 

Junmyeon uncertain with so many things, sometime even for just trivial decision like how he should style his fair for the dinner.  Despite being told that he had nothing to worry about, Junmyeon at least wanted to give his best look in front of Lu Han. 

At this rate, he could never figure it out why he didn't feel satisfy with his own look as he glimpsed his own reflection in the mirror.  His hands restlessly combing his hair, just to mess it up later on because he thought he never look good. The repetitions continued with cute, almost annoyed pout plastered on his face. 

 

Baekhyun who had been called to come over to help, just watched silently from behind. Junmyeon decided to get Baekhyun's help because he felt a little bit distant from Chanyeol lately.  He unsure why, but he could sense the giant seemed like trying to run away from him. 

 

Baekhyun just sat at the side of Junmyeon's bed, didn't comment anything for a while, but upon seeing the unnecessary misery on Junmyeon's part, he finally burst out laugh.

 

"Stop..." he said once he settled down from his giggling. Junmyeon frowned, feigning sulking to be teased at by the one younger than himself. "Seriously, let me do this, Myeonni hyung..." Baekhyun gently muttered, as he turned Junmyeon to face him. 

Baekhyun scanned the elder's face for a good few seconds, admiring the natural work of art. His eyes lingered around the fluttering thick long eyelashes, pair of glassy clear eyes, his porcelain white skin, small pointed nose and his cherry red lips. It was not his first time looking at the elder, in fact he had saw him countless time, but seeing him real close, he was taken aback by something, or to be more exact, by someone. 

 

Now he could understand Chanyeol's feeling toward this hyung, why the taller adored this tiny guy too much. He saw through chanyeol's eyes, how delicate Junmyeon's beauty was....and if only he could help more, he would, but the only thing he could do right now was to feel sorry toward Chanyeol. 

 

"Hair up or hair down? ...," Junmyeon's question stirred up Baekhyun's wondering mind. 

 

"You're beautiful Myeonni hyung...." Baekhyun complimented the elder honestly, for certain reason, his heart clutched painfully -  cause the one who should praise Junmyeon's beauty right now should be Chanyeol, not him, but still, he tried his best to represent Chanyeol's feeling. "Whether hair up or hair down, you'll definitely nail them all..." he resumed, as he started to work with his magic.  " but I personally prefer your hair down..." he stated his opinion. It had been decided that he would put just minimal amount of make up onto already beautiful face. 

 

Baekhyun was pretty sure that Junmyeon blushed a bit, like those of beautiful pink sakura which blossom in midst of the youthful spring. He had always had, blushing, even by just simple compliment or attention. This hyung, was that kind of guy....

 

Baekhyun took a long deep breath, as if taking Junmyeon's entirety in his mind, picturing him the best possible make over with best possible colour. It was true that Junmyeon's beauty already mesmerizing even without any additional colour, but it was an honour to be entrusted with masterpiece in his hands. 

 

"Myeonni hyung, close your eyes...put your trust in me and just let me do the rest..." Baekhyun murmured. 

 

Junmyeon nodded obediently, putting all the trust to Baekhyun - letting him to do all the wonder.  He knew Baekhyun was reliable, as he felt long slim fingers lingered almost every contour, every corner of his face, painting him with colours. He felt calm, relaxing under the touch of Baekhyun's hands. It amazed Junmyeon, how delicate Baekhyun's fingers were, alternating with wiping of brush. 

 

Baekhyun was dedicated to deliver his best make over, Junmyeon at least could tell that - by the way he paid attention to every small detail on his face, how focus he was in every second. 

 

Baekhyun also help in deciding which clothes to wear, opting for half formal attire - long sleeves dusty brown shirt and black pants. He stated his opinion - for somebody like Junmyeon, he just need simple dressing, but at the same time look gorgeous. Junmyeon didn't need to wear something so sophisticated, something so striking to look attractive. 

 

Baekhyun seemed to have so many ideas in him about fashion, and it's not exaggerating to say, he was expert in that field. 

 

"Now it's time to look at yourself...Myeonni hyung .." Baekhyun said as he brought the elder to whole body mirror. Self satisfaction and proud were plastered all over his face as he said. 

 

Junmyeon totally in awe as he saw his own self reflection on the mirror. Mouth agape for a while, almost disbelieving. The image that he saw look so classic and elegant. His pale face had been toned a bit,and look mature than his original teenage one. 

 

"Beautiful right?" Baekhyun asked. 

Junmyeon nodded, admitting because Baekhyun's work was totally a miracle. 

"Then only one thing left, just be yourself....meet him with confident, Myeonni hyung..." Baekhyun said, as he stared deeply into Junmyeon's eyes, as if giving him his own confident. They were facing each other as Baekhyun hold Junmyeon's shoulder. 

 

" Thank you..." Junmyeon muttered shortly. .." I owe you a lot..."

"Don't mention it, just bring me a good news ...that's all, I want to hear from you hyung...and good luck" Baekhyun sincerely wished. 

 

 

 

 

_______

 

 

Lu Han was always gentle to Junmyeon even in usual day, and the younger sort of getting used to it, although of course Junmyeon would always bubbly inside, even for a bit. But tonight was different, because only Lu Han with him and nobody else, he could tell that Lu Han's every attention was very much on him. 

 

He felt grateful and ungrateful all at the time. Before Lu Han, Minseok's and Baekhyun's words to him were long forgotten. It felt special to be the main centre of attention, to be the only one that Lu Han paid his attention with, but his insecure side felt uncomfortable. Because who would not? Because Lu Han look so gorgeous with his brunette hair was styled up, his boyish look more manly than usual. 

His legs already wobbled when Lu Han pulled the chair out for him to sit.  May be it was only him, but the brunette felt more gentleman, and his heart started to made multiple flips. 

 

"I hope you like this place" Lu Han broke the silence, once they settled with seat and orders.   

 

Junmyeon would literally love where ever place that Lu Han would bring him, but it felt so blunt if he just replied just like that. Actually he didn't care even if it was just cheap ordinary place, as long as he can be together with Lu Han. 

 

Nevertheless, it was all true that he loved this place because Lu Han was with him. 

"Of course, it's a beautiful place..." he replied.

 

Lu Han smiled, satisfied with the answer. In between pause of silent, he did nothing but staring at Junmyeon, his eyes didn't leave him even for a second, as if devouring the younger with all his entirety.  

 

Junmyeon deviated his eyes. Lu Han's gaze didn't even sharp, didn't even penetrating, but was deep enough to feel as if he was looking into his soul. It was unfair that Lu Han could affect him this much ..It was unfair that Lu Han could make his heart waver...Everything was unfair because he couldn't even fight back the longing stare that Lu Han casted upon him....

 

"You're spacing out..." Lu Han called him out. 

 

"Huh.." Junmyeon stumbled from his own thought...His eyes blinked several times, before he able to collect himself. He probably could have embarrassed himself in front of Lu Han, haven't him?

 

"Precious....,"The elder muttered, more toward himself. Junmyeon thought if the room was noisy, he could have had miss the word coming out from him. The corner of Lu Han's lips curled upward, he didn't particularly smile at Junmyeon, but there was glint of delight radiated from his eyes. "Never mind, you look so beautiful tonight, Myeonni..."    

 

"Thank you..."  Junmyeon shyly replied. His timid gaze directed everywhere but Lu Han's eyes.  The elder's look already affected him that much, did he need to attack him by words too?  

 

Ah, Junmyeon often heard that kind of compliment, but hearing the word 'beautiful' coming directly from Lu Han himself, was something special, something memorable, and if it was even possible he wanted Lu Han to say it again.

 

"You're handsome too..." Junmyeon continued, praising the elder's gorgeous look. His voices almost muffled, overwhelmed by his own nerve. He didn't even understand why his tongue felt numb.

 

Lu Han softly chortled. "You didn't even have to force yourself...."

 

 But, it felt awkward if he was just hanging up there without complimenting him back. And, he really meant the words he had said earlier to Lu Han - the compliment was all true. And if he could, he wanted to express himself better, he wanted to scream louder...

 

"It's all true..." Junmyeon said, with determination look in his eyes. "In my eyes, you're the most gorgeous human being I've ever seen, and I've always wanted to say that since the longest time ..." Junmyeon tried to hold his breath, but at the end, his voice sounded a bit broken, shaken by his own emotional outburst.

 

"You're the one who talk..."  Lu Han trailed off… for once Junmyeon thought his voice sounded a little bit waver. 

 

For somebody as immaculate as Lu Han, the Chinese guy probably as nervous as Junmyeon, although it seemed that Lu Han had better self-composure than him.

"Madam Han once said, there's beautiful white lily in her garden, and she seemed so excited ..every single day she told me about that white lily, she said how it look the most stunning among all the flowers in her garden. And it made me wonder who's that person could be, cause as long as I've known Madam Han, she rarely talked about others. I think that white lily must be precious to her..." Lu Han said, opening his talk.

 

Lu Han laid his eyes on Junmyeon, and the younger didn't reply him immediately. He knew, the white lily in front of him could feel it, a strong feeling of hope radiated from the soft glow from his eyes. 

 

For a moment, the time felt like stopping by itself, and Lu Han wonder if his own heart beat might as well follow ..

An absolute silent ensued.....

 

His mind travelled several years backward, filled with few good moments that he shared with Madam Han...

His heart regret a little...how he wished he could fulfilled Madam Han wish during her life time….. 

 

 

 

 

 

It was spring when he was visiting south Korea for the first time. Madam Han was his auntie, who he rarely saw or met because of distance. Because of certain condition, her name was rarely mentioned in Han family, like they totally outcast her, but not to Lu Han. 

 

Her real name was, Fei Han, but Lu Han just prefer to call Madam Han,or so, Madam Han loved to be called by that honorific.

 

She had been deserted by her own family long time ago when she decided to marry Korean man, and later on, moved on here, the beautiful Jeju Island, a beautiful land where, according to Madam Han, at least she found a little piece of peace in her. 

 

"How are you doing, Madam Han?" Lu Han asked one day (he had always asked) through phone call. The distance was the only barrier, but it never made them apart from each other. 

 

His ears has been grazed by cheerful voice of Madam Han at the end of line " My life is great lately.."

 

Madam Han genuinely sounded so energetic and lively, it was such a rare occurrence, or to be honest, he never heard Madam Han's voice sounded so joyful like this. 

 

Thirty years had been passed by since Madam Han's husband has passed away, and it had been almost thirty years ever since she felt the real spring. The season shifted, and so the spring came and went by slowly, but it flied so fast at the least expected time....

 

and yet came another spring..  

 

Lu Han never met Madam Han's husband, he was not born yet at that time when he passed away. But, as the only sole relative who really close to Madam Han, he really loved to listen to her story. 

"Uhuh, am I going to have new uncle?" Lu Han tilted up his voice excitingly, half teasing his lovely auntie. 

 

"What you're talking about? I am too old for that...." Madam Han chortled a bit. 

 

"Love doesn't know age...." 

 

"Sure, but please save your romantic quote later cause who want this wrinkled, old lady?" Her mocking words mingled with soft giggling sound. 

 

"But I want you to feel the spring again...." Lu Han's voice trailed off. Unsure of whether he should say his mind out loud to somebody who was far older than him, but Madam Han was always a dearest person to him. "Even at your age, I want you to be happy again...everyone deserves happiness..."

 

"True, but what's kind of happiness you're talking about, and what's kind of love? Because I am truly happy now, my dearest Lu Han. It doesn't necessarily falling in love to feel happy ..although they are related to each other. and love comes in different ways and shape, it's not necessarily has to be at all time romantic..."

Lu Han never thought a small joke turned into serious conversation, and Madam Han's words felt like been splashed right onto his face. 

 

Lu Han certainly had lost at word to reply. .

 

"I'm good, don't worry too much..." Madam Han offered. She probably could sense it too, the change of conversation, and trying to lighten it up. "But, how about you...are you still single and available?" Madam Han chuckled again. 

 

Ah, that's right...although he just said it - love doesn't know age, but he certainly at the right age to fall in love, 23 years old was still a spring age.

 

Lu Han laughed together with the old lady. He felt funny, because he was the one who talked. "But seriously Madam Han, what's up with the happy mood, you can't keep it all by yourself..." Lu Han said once the laugh ceased. 

   

"Ah, there's a beautiful white lily in my garden. I hope you guys can meet each other one day and fall in love.."

 

Lu Han never have a serious thought about the white lily, but he felt grateful that Madam Han sounded happier than he could ever remember. 

 

Nevertheless, he promised to Madam Han that he would pay her a visit. 

 

The very first time he met Junmyeon was at the green house. He looked so immersed watering the flower when Madam Han greeted him. 

 

It was still a serene morning, the soft glow of sun ray just shyly seeping through the glass wall, with floral scent of all types spreading all over the place. His white skin looked glowing bathing under the gentle gleam of sun ray, and Lu Han thought it was the most beautiful sight to behold.

 

The guy seemed to be stumbled for a while, probably because he was taken aback by sudden jolt of greeting. It wasn't particularly surprising to see his reaction, Lu Han kinda expecting it a bit because the morning was still too early. Who would expect visitor at this hour?

 

The flower guy stopped from whatever work he was currently at, and despite of surprise look plastered all over his face, he greeted them warmly. 

 

"Hi, I'm kim Junmyeon, nice to know you..." the man introduced himself, offering a friendly greeting to Lu Han. 

 

The first thing that stroke Lu Han's attention about Junmyeon was how the other was ridiculously white. He looked unbelievably intricate, he thought Junmyeon was almost unreal. Just like a flower, the pale male look so fragile and delicate, it shook his man's heart. So, was this the same white lily that Madam Han was talking about? Lu Han must be mistaken cause that person couldn't be him, Junmyeon is a man no matter how beautiful he was as a person. 

 

The pair of Junmyeon's big black eyes, blinked shyly at him when the shorter male bowed, and offering handshake. 

"I'm Lu Han, nice to know you too, Junmyeon..." Lu Han said, as he took Junmyeon's offering hand. 

 

 

 

 

 

Lu Han visited Madam Han more often later on after gaining newfound that his auntie contracted incurable breast cancer. Madam Han never told him regarding her illness, but Lu Han knew this through Junmyeon.

 

Madam Han was very much weaker, and in his mind, he just wanted to do only one thing - to spend his time with his dearest auntie till her time comes. He fully aware, nothing much he could offer but making her less suffering, holding her hands dearly and making her know that she is well loved. 

 

The evening breeze of Jeju island gently grazed his face, as he throw his gaze toward the wide open sky. He was just sitting on the bench, enjoying just a simple evening sightseeing with Madam Han by his side. Her hand was in his firm, secure hold.

 

"Who's the white lily you were talking about?...I didn't meet any girl yet at the greenhouse..." Lu Han asked. 

Madam Han offered a weak smile, that hold many secrets. "You didn't figure it out yet, did you?"

 

She loved to give a vague answer, for Lu Han to discover by himself. 

Lu Han, in all enormity of his mind to digest and put them all together into final thought, hardly believed any of this, because Madam Han, at the age of 63 years old, from older generation, couldn't be this open about love between the same gender. 

 

She couldn't mean the same guy he met at the green house. She couldn't mean Junmyeon was the same person she was referring to as the beautiful white lily she always loved to story tale. She utterly couldn't mean that.....

 

The soft sigh escaped from her already dry, chapped lips. "The answer is within you. I won't state the already obvious. Perhaps, when you said love doesn't know age, you should also add, she also doesn't know gender..."

It's obvious that the answer was...

The white lily was....

 

 

 

 

 

 

"What's you're thinking about? I mean, you look like very deep in thought ..." Junmyeon's voice brought him back into reality. 

 

"I was thinking about you, the most beautiful white lily in Madam Han's garden..." Lu Han answered, this time firm and solid, unwavering. This was his only chance, he couldn't miss this. "I mean....." he paused, sat up and shifted just before Junmyeon. He crouched in front of Junmyeon and his right hand gently took Junmyeon's, bringing it toward his face .  Lu Han gaze didn't leave Junmyeon's, seeking for substantiation. 

 

" I love you, Junmyeon." He confessed while stroking the back of younger's hand. "If you let me, Lu Han, held your heart and be mine, I'll shower you with all my love forever. and I'll be the spring that make your heart bloom eternally..." he chanted his lifelong vow before tenderly kissing Junmyeon's hand. "And so, Kim Junmyeon, would you please be my beautiful white lily, be mine forever?"

 

Junmyeon's eyes beamed at him. A pure happiness was reflected in that gentle, kind eyes of his, and for a while, they turned crescent in shape. 

"Yes, Yes..my heart, my love, my soul are all yours to behold.." Junmyeon said, sealing the love tie altogether. 

 

That's all answer that Lu Han need to hear. He didn't need anything else to savour, because all he need was Junmyeon to be in his embrace. 

 

 

l

 

 

He knew they shouldn't be doing this at the first place. That's the thought that run into his mind when Chanyeol saw them kissing in his own floral shop.  

Not that Junmyeon was physically weaker than Lu Han, no.... not that Junmyeon just allow the elder to have his own way on him, no... not that Junmyeon never say anything to the chinese guy, no....not that Junmyeon didn't have strong determination to stop him, it was not that he wasn't firm either, no.....

 

It's just that... it's just that, Lu Han had his alluring charm to disarming him, more exactly to say, disarming his heart .

To the matter of fact ,Junmyeon had always say  No to Lu Han, but...

Lu Han knew that Junmyeon loved to be kissed by him, despite he never say anything about it. Lu Han knew deep inside him speaking ‘Yes’ louder than his lips saying ‘No’. 

So, it wasn't surprise thing to know Lu Han gentle persuasion overthrow Junmyeon firm grip. 

It was just Lu Han thing. 

 

"We shouldn't be doing this..." he said to persuasive Lu Han, who just snaking around him, too proximate for him too breath. 

 

"But, you look like you're thinking too much, I just want to distract you for a while..." Lu Han gave an excuse. 

 

Yes, it was true that he was thinking about something, to be more exact, about someone - the tattoo artist, Park Canyeol. Especially lately, because he felt more distant from the younger, he knew there was something wrong, but he was unsure what was exactly the problem lying underneath. And to his despair, he didn't know how to go about. 

 

He kinda...missing that guy a bit, and once and for all, he just wanted to ensure everything was clear. 

 

"But, what if somebody walked into us ...." he tried to retaliate, placing both of his palm onto Lu Han chest, shielding himself as Lu Han faced him. 

 

But, Lu Han's face was very close to his own, Junmyeon knew at this rate, the chinese's lips was inevitable.  Lu Han technically didn't use strong energy either to push himself toward him, but before anything his defence already weakened. 

 

"We just do it simple and quickly okay, please beautiful...." Lu Han said, his eyes literally staring in between Junmyeon's own and lips. Sharp and solid, but tender and gentle. Pairs of eyes which told desire, full of wanting and eagerness. 

How could possibly he say no this pair of eyes, and an inviting lips, and a warm holding that always knew how? He knew he could never.

...

Lu Han's hands wrapped firmly around Junmyeon's slim waist, and Junmyeon's hands moved according to their own accord, reciprocating, lingered from elder's chest to his nape. 

 

Just like that, Junmyeon melted in Lu Han's arm. The determination to stop the other from kissing him dissolved into thin air as Lu Han's lips met his. 

And Junmyeon lost the count...the time felt frozen, and he can't remember exactly for how long they had been kissing. Lu Han's lips were intoxicating.  

 

'Ring...Ring...Ring....'

Only after third ringing sound from the glass door brought realisation back to him. The flip motion of the door, and the sudden gush of air jolted his entire nerve, but he was too late...

 

There, just besides the door, stood the  person he wanted to see the most after quite a long time, but not like this...if possible, he was the last person, he ever expected to see him this way... Junmyeon unsure himself why, but he kind of wish thing to happen like that...

 

This guy, he appeared at the wrong time, at the wrong place. For a moment, Junmyeon thought time froze once again, as they just stared into each other.... and nothing spilled out from their mouths.

 

Perhaps, may be, chanyeol just as shocked as him.

 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt...." Chanyeol once said, after shock washed over him. He was about to slide out for escape, much for both understanding, but Junmyeon didn't want to miss the chance...

 

"Chanyeol...." Junmyeon called. Chanyeol halted almost instantaneously.

 

Junmyeon unsure what to say, still felt mortified, but he must come out with something, anything to camouflage the awkwardness.  "Is there anything I can help?" he asked, finally settle at least with some words. His right hand rubbed his own nape, tried to control his own nervousness. 

 

From the back, he thought he saw Chanyeol's shoulder was shaking, but may be that was his own thought. May be his eyes played with him. 

 

Chanyeol grinned back at Junmyeon once he turned to face him. But the glassy eyes of his, appeared almost shattered, impending to be broken, were impossible to be pretended for something else. For certain reason, his heart hurt. 

 

"Ah, nothing, hyung....I just wanna give you this.." he said while handed Junmyeon a medium size of lunch box. 

 

"What's this?"

 

"Pasta....I've made a lot of it so...I wanna share some of it with hyung ..." Chanyeol explained. 

 

"Thanks...." Junmyeon said while looking at the item already on his hands. He glanced Lu Han for a good few seconds before returning his gaze to Chanyeol.

 

"Chanyeol, this is Lu Han....and Lu Han, this is Park Chanyeol, the owner of Phoenix Art across the street.." Junmyeon introduced one into another. He can't help but fely awkward in between them. 

 

There was nothing really happened between those two, so why he felt this way? The strange feeling creeped into his nerve, squeezed the pit of his gut couldn't be ignored that easily. 

 

Nevertheless, they greeted and bowed to each other.

"It seemed that I've interrupted something here...I shall be going..." Chanyeol politely excuse himself, ready to walked out. Somehow uneasiness laced on his handsome face. "Hyung, you can share it with Lu Han too, " he added, offering a weak smile. 

His glance back and forth from Lu Han to Junmyeon... 

 

But, a small hand grasped his by the wrist, weak and shaky as if uncertain, but again it did make Chanyeol stopped because it felt like Junmyeon pleaded to him. Clammy and cold. 

 

"It's okay, it's seem that I have another business to do..." Lu Han said calmly, giving space for some privacy. "See you again, Junmyeon and you too Chanyeol if got any chance..."

___

"How are you?..." Junmyeon asked, once Lu Han completely left. 

"Doing fine..."Chanyeol muttered. 

Junmyeon sensed tense in Chanyeol's husky voice, he wondered if something bad to him. He wouldn't expect him not to tell lie to him, because anybody who was full of pride probably would. 

"How about you, hyung?" the taller asked back. 

"Great..." he replied. Yes, he did great all this while, but there was some bitterness hanging open, need to be solved once and for all. 

"Ah... Congratulations hyung..." Chanyeol said. 

Chanyeol's voice sounded shudder, and weak to him. Why? Happy go lucky Chanyeol would usually sound so cheerful, so bright ..and in normal circumstance, nobody would congrate other with that tone of voice.  

It was bothering him in the way he couldn't even comprehend. 

"You obviously not okay, Chanyeol..Do you want to tell me something?" He faced Chanyeol, meeting the pair of eyes whose refuse to meet his. "You can tell me everything, anything..."he reassured. 

"I've no right to tell....No, I'm wrong to tell..."

Chanyeol's answer confused him further. "What's do you mean?"

"You're pretty clueless hyung, didn't you?" Chanyeol replied him back with another question. 

The question snapped Junmyeon right into the core. It's can't be real right? The precious dongsae in front of him...

The momentary silent, and it seemed that everything surrounding them moved in slow motion. 

The next words came from Chanyeol sounded like buzzing into his ears, the magical chant that made his heart skipped a beat, that span his entire being. 

"I like you  hyung, I mean...I really like you Junmyeon hyung..."

It came to him - Everything made sense to him now. The uncertain eyes whose looking at him, the silent care, the shy smile, the clumsy gesture, and not to be forgotten the sudden distant, this kid .. must be holding something back then - they clicked quickly into his mind. 

Once and for all, all the confusion, bewilderment unravel by the confession. 

It was not something to be unexpected, but still, Junmyeon didn't prepare himself well. He was taken aback...

The fate didn't come to their favour. But Junmyeon knew, if circumstance allowed, perhaps, may be he would fall in love with Park Chanyeol too. 

"I'm sorry to tell you this hyung, I shouldn't bother you at the first place..." Chanyeol mumbled. 

"No, you shouldn't be sorry..." Junmyeon quickly cut Chanyeol off. He planted himself into Chanyeol, hugging the other in awkward position because the height difference, a little bit uncomfortable to be honest, but Chanyeol lowered himself to accommodate. It felt the only right thing to do, to comfort the younger. After all, it was not that easy for Chanyeol to come out for confession. 

 

Chanyeol was dearest to Junmyeon, his precious  dongsae. 

 

For a while, they remain silent in each other's arm. 

"I'm sorry Chanyeol, I didn't know about your feeling.  I should have known it earlier..."  Junmyeon uttered once emotional outburst settled. 

 

"It's not your fault...I am one who is weak here..." Chanyeol retaliated. "I thought I already get over from you totally, that's why I come here, but I totally wrong. Seeing you with the other guy ..I mean Lu Han hyung, it still sting my heart to be honest..."

 

Junmyeon wanted to hug Chanyeol even more, if it was possible. wanted to comfort him more, wanted to sooth the pain away. It hurt his heart too. 

 

"I know, but it's okay now, everything’s going to be okay..." he tried to reassure his small hands rubbed Chanyeol's back. "I really appreciate your feeling...so thank you..." Junmyeon whispered. 

 

At the end, Chanyeol made a lifelong promise not to run away anymore. If they couldn't be a lover, at least they still could be friend to each other.

 

 

 

 

Everything seemed to be smooth ever since, it was even more fun. Junmyeon, Lu Han, Chanyeol and Soo Young sometimes had double date or some activities over the weekend--watching movie, cooking, shopping, camping, lunch or dinner date. 

Occasionally, Baekhyun would join them. He was a fun companion. Although he appeared as a third wheel, he knew how to handle everything well. 

 

And, not to mention, it was good to have his dongsae back. Chanyeol and Lu Han got along well.  Everything back to normal.  

 

"Junmyeon, I've got to go back tomorrow for family affair. I'm needed there..." Lu Han exclaimed one day, right after finishing their dinner in restaurant. They were standing just besides Lu Han's car, but Lu Han just acting weird, suddenly paused from entering the red vehicle. Junmyeon followed his step. 

 

"For how long?" Junmyeon asked. 

"I'm not sure, it's depend on situation..may be three days, may be one week...." Lu Han trailed off. There was uncertainty the way he answered the question, as if he was trying to hide something.  

 

Junmyeon thought, may be it was only him. May be he was reading Lu Han too much…but he couldn't brush off the thought that Lu Han's acting a little bit different from usual. 

 

He couldn't help but felt uneasy. 

 

"Why, didn't you tell me earlier? I thought I am important to you.." Junmyeon asked, but the tone came out harsher and cold, even to himself. He had no intention to sound rude or anything, but he lost control over his own voice because Lu Han was dearest person to him…

 

"I'm sorry, I find it's difficult for me to talk to you regarding this...I mean, I don't want to say goodbye...it's the hardest word to say to you. I don't want to be far away from you.  How could I wish I don't have to go..." Lu Han answered, much with quavering voice. What was all about?

 

 Somehow, Lu Han's words softened his bitter heart. Junmyeon could felt what the other felt. He also didn't want to be separated from Lu Han. 

"Junmyeon I love you...I'm going to miss you...."Lu Han said, voice almost muffled by the sound of the car on the road. The elder's eyes met his, the doer orbs were wavering, casting upon Junmyeon with so much longing, and for certain reason they look gloom...something in there that Junmyeon couldn't quite decipher.  

 

But the night with full moon hanging upon the sky was beautiful, and Junmyeon somehow wished they could only stay there forever...He wished that the day of tomorrow would never come to them. 

 

He wished that they could just stare into each other's eyes, listening to each other's heart beat, breathing each other's breath, and holding each other's hands.

"Me too, I love you too, Lu Han....I will be missing you. .." Junmyeon replied

genuinely. He closed their distance, placing his hands on Lu Han's nape, bringing the elder's face to his before planting a kiss onto his lips. 

 

Junmyeon rarely initiated the kiss in between them, but this time, he thought he wanted to be different. 

 

Lu Han easily reciprocated the move, hands finding their way wrapping gently on Junmyeon's slim waist. Lu Han kissed him back like no other, soft, and get, yet enough to ignite sparkle in his heart. 

 

"Junmyeon, would you stay over at my house tonight?" Lu Han asked once they settled on respective seat in the car.  Nervousness apparent in his husky timbre.

"sure..." 

The engine was started, and the roaring sound filled up the entire space, but still, it seemed that Lu Han was holding up something. 

 

"Lu Han, are you okay? You want to tell me something?" Junmyeon concernly query, and he placed his right hand on top of Lu Han's left. It felt cold and clammy. He interlaced their hands together. 

 

"I...I want you so badly Junmyeon ...I mean, can I make love to you tonight? can I be your first?" He paused, again he sounded uncertain. Lu Han hold Junmyeon's hand in his even stronger. " Of course only if you allow me..." 

 

Junmyeon couldn't deny that he wanted Lu Han too. He wanted only Lu Han and no other man - the first and the last. He wished not only for tonight but forever. 

"Of course u can. I want you to be my first and my last...." Junmyeon whispered silently, voice was sank by the roaring engine, but suffice to reach Lu Han.

\--------

Time was being cruel as always, and the next sun rays greeted them, expected but never enough for them both. 

Junmyeon accompanied Lu Han to airport, to bide him farewell. 

 

"I love you Junmyeon, I really do..." Lu Han confessed wholehearted, "And thank you..." he said, looking deeply into Junmyeon's eyes. Junmyeon was still there with him, but why the look in his eyes seemed like he already missed him very badly. The tale, Junmyeon really wanted to reach. ..

 

Why he said as if this was going to be their last moment. Why he said as if, this going to be his last time seeing him? As if this going to be his last time saying those words?

 

Junmyeon shook the thoughts away from his mind. "I love you too, Lu Han...I always do.." he gave Lu Han final hug, burying his face into Lu Han's chest. He knew everybody would look at them, but he didn't even care.

 

"Please take care and please come back safely..."  The final words that he uttered to his lover, before departure, as he hesitantly letting go the elder's hands. 

 

Junmyeon watched silently the back of Lu Han,who walked toward departure hall, turning his head in between to meet his gaze. 

 

and...in that silent watch, Lu Han disappear from his sight...but Junmyeon captured everything with his own eyes....

Every single movement of him.....the final moment before he flied to Beijing back.

 

 

 

 

 

Every single moment felt like tormenting as he waited for Lu Han to come back to him. But Lu Han, as kind as always, would send him messages or called him straight away. When Lu Han arrived at Beijing, he texted Junmyeon, just to note him that he had safely landed at his hometown. Junmyeon felt at ease. 

 

"It's raining here, rainy Beijing...and it remind me about you..." Lu Han explained. 

 The noise of heavy rain tapping down could be heard from the other end of connection .

 

Junmyeon chuckled, ah, Lu Han he sometimes could be cheesy, but in all seriousness, did the Chinese guy knew something about him?

 

"Why, is rain has something to do with me?" he asked. He glad to know that he was always in Lu Han's mind. 

"You're like gentle rain to me..."

 

Junmyeon blushed as he heard the answer. Junmyeon wondered if Lu Han could see it through the phone. The other probably know. 

Like that, their contact continue every day. 

 

Lu Han sounded so cheerful, Junmyeon felt relief hearing his voice. May be he was thinking too much back then. 

 

Waiting for someone he missed the most was always a difficult job. But he wait, and wait, and wait. 

 

Lu Han never told anything about his family matter. But Junmyeon fully aware regarding his family perception, and so he didn't want to push Lu Han for anything that make him uncomfortable. 

 

They just had trivial conversation over the phone. But it's enough for Junmyeon. He felt grateful for every single moment that he spent just to listen to Lu Han's voice. 

Until one day, after almost three weeks, Lu Han stopped calling or texting him. He wondered why...may be he just tired, or busy, but he always had time for him before. 

 

He tried to contact Lu Han, but nobody pick up the phone. 

But Junmyeon wait, and wait, and wait... patiently for Lu Han. Day turned to week, it became nerve wrecking for Junmyeon even to wait. 

 

He can't just sit here, without doing anything. He couldn't afford to wait without knowing anything. He really wanted to fly to Beijing right now.

Heavy sigh of regret escaped from his cracked lips .He couldn't forgive himself for letting Lu Han go. 

 

 

 

 

 

The waiting came to end one day, after one week there was no contact between them.

He was at his floral shop, looking idly at the flower, more likely losing all his spirit, when he received a visitor, who he never knew before.

 

Junmyeon felt numb all over when the guest introduced himself as Lu Han's friend. The most nerve wrecking moment that rendered him wordless was when the stranger said, “ I’m sorry but Lu Han couldn’t make it here…”

. 

Why, what happened to him? 

 

The Inside of him screamed, unsaid but louder than any other noise. 

"Lu Han involved in massive road traffic accident one week ago. His car was severely crushed in that incident...and Lu Han .." the guest paused, closing his eyes and taking a very deep breath before resuming . The next words must be difficult for him too. ..

 

… and Junmyeon, very much already foresee, the next words that he was going to hear. Because every single thing hinted clearly toward something he feared the most, like a spur of moment. 

He knew it all along….

 

"Lu Han...to my sorrow and regret, he died after three days struggling with severe injury... I'm sorry" 

 

Every single word registered to him, sounded echoing in his ears, but it was the word ‘died’ that broke his everything- his dream and hope, all shattered like a broken glasses. 

 

He was missing the guy who always been missed, and he was going to miss him forever ......

 

His surrounding world felt like spinning all over the places. He felt like losing his own step. His vision gradually became blurry and dark.... 

 

"Junmyeon...."

 

His own name was the last thing he could hear before losing his balance on his own stand as his brain been completely shut off….

 

 

 

 

It was almost one month since Lu Han departure, and ever since, Chanyeol noticed that the little white lily shrivelled, losing his lustre. He knew, Junmyeon missed his Lu Han, but it was kind of apparent these few days. 

 

Despite of losing most of his spirit, Junmyeon still opened his floral shop up, Chanyeol noticed. Junmyeon probably felt guilty, but he needed rest, he should take a break, Chanyeol made a mental note, the things that he was going to nag to Junmyeon.  

 

"Junmyeon hyung, Junmyeon hyung....." he called out, as he push opened the glass door, but there was no answer.

 

An absolute silent…

 

There was no body inside as he entered inside, his eyes lingered everywhere. He didn't feel right, there was strange feeling knotted in his gut. He felt his own palm went white, sweating profusely.  Instinctively, he stepped inside further, checking for some clue. 

 

Out of curiosity, he opened the other door that lead to the green house. 

Once he cracked the door open, he was greeted by the most beautiful sight he could have ever seen in his entire life. Totally mesmerizing, he thought his already big eyes probably turned wider, jaw utterly dropped down. 

 

There.. just before his eyes, the little white lily was lying motionless inside the glass box. Confine in it, the creature looked so fragile, delicate and he never thought someone could ever look breath taking even while being hold, frozen hopelessly.  

Ah, he totally almost forgot the sole reason he was here....he was totally captivated by the sight in front of him....

 

Before he even knew it, his foot already brought him to fragile creature, his right hand gently touched the glassy ice, as if he wanted to caress the other...His fingers numb a bit, to be honest, but he didn't even care...he wanted to touch Junmyeon again.

 

"I need to freeze him for a while..." 

 

There was voice from behind him. Chanyeol recognized it immediately, it belong to Minseok. 

 

 "What do you mean? Why you did this to him?" He asked, he found his own voice raspy a bit. 

 

"Lu Han died one week ago... Junmyeon can't take it...He's losing himself. When he's in grave state, he just can't stop crying...and he can flood the whole land with his tears .."

 

Chanyeol tried to digest the new information that he heard, listening carefully but he wondered if what he had heard from Minseok was just fic tale, there's no way this could be real right?

 

But he reminded himself that he was no way better...There was still hidden secret that he kept, not even dared to share with others......He silently wondered what probably they would think about him if they knew who he really was...Chanyeol felt fear to know their reaction. 

 

There was a surge of realisation that he never told Soo Young about what the real thing he actually was. The real him... he never talked about it to his lover. 

But Chanyeol fully aware that he should let Soo Young know, sooner or later. It was an inevitable fate for him, he should discover by himself if he was truly being loved by the other. 

 

"Ah, you hold fire super power right? Minseok asked. 

 

Chanyeol was taken by surprise ...He didn't even dare to deny it either, because it was bound to happen anyway  - that one day, somebody would know it, no matter whether he like it or not..

And Minseok was not somebody he was going to joke around...because the elder seemed to know everything right from the start but just play it cool and not to stir everything. 

 

"How did you?....."Chanyeol stumbled upon his own word. 

"U mean, how I figure it out? I just happen to know... that's all about it. I don't have much explanation to offer either...." Minseok shrugged. Ah, this man can see right through him or may be he is too transparent for other too see. 

 

Despite of Minseok presence, Chanyeol can't stop staring at Junmyeon... can't never really take his eyes off him, he thought he probably can just looking at the other for a day without feeling tired or bored..

 

Because the frozen man who just lied motionless was just too beautiful to look at, and Chanyeol felt as if he was staring at a masterpiece hanging in art gallery that he was too afraid to touch, fear that the fragile masterpiece might break...and probably burnt under his fingers tips. 

 

It was devastating moment to see Junmyeon was held like this even for a while. So much heart breaking to see the white lily guy just lying there, closing his eyes, only confined in the glass box....and the most hurtful part was not to see his gentle smile again....

 

"He can't smile again...right?" Chanyeol asked, after momentary pause of silence.  

"He will.... I know there's gonna be another man who could bring the happiest smile back on his face again...." Minseok answered calmly, like he was pretty sure what was the future held. May be he was an optimistic guy. 

 

But the words gave pang to Chanyeol's heart. Who's going to be that man? and somehow, very hidden inside, unknown to many, Chanyeol wished he was the one who bring the smile back on to his face. 

 

However, a harsh and unrelenting voice at the back of his mind told him otherwise. Junmyeon didn't belong to him, not in the past, not now and never in future.  Beautiful white lily type of guy like Junmyeon deserved better. The ugly beast inside him can't even relate. 

 

"For how long he is going to be frozen like this?" He asked, he wished he could have melt the surrounding ice.

 

"Until it's deemed safe.  You know it's dangerous right. Not even you and me are safe...but don't worry, I've handle this before...." Minseok explained. 

Chanyeol had no word to say anything, to oppose the statement. It was not his place to say in the beginning to give his opinion so, he just kept the resentment all by himself. 

 

"Water and flame never mingle well, we never know who's going to be demolished or broken down...but have faith in yourself, Park Chanyeol. .." Minseok said. 

Chanyeol never knew what the other was thinking about. Despite being taken aback a little bit, Chanyeol knew that it was not secret any longer, at least to Minseok that he still loved his little brother dearly…. 

 

And he still held a dream and a wish he wanted to fulfill - adorning Junmyeon's face with more dazzling flowers, the treasured dream that never fade away from his mind.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

_Water and flame don't really mix._

_Totally opposite, totally incompatible to each other...._

_The fate already decided, the destiny said it all....._

_and Chanyeol came to his own term to accept the cruel fate, the one that he can't fully escape even if he desperately wanted...._

_He can only admire Junmyeon from far away......_

_More than anything, he can't afford to hurt Junmyeon....._

 

 

 

 

 

 

Junmyeon's gentle smile...chanyeol missed it a lot, to be honest.  A gentle smile of his used to be warm and colourful, had always been dazzling and beautiful ..but that smile rarely spread across smooth feature of his nowadays. No, Junmyeon actually didn't smile at all lately, Chanyeol noticed. 

 

It had been three months since Lu Han's death, but Junmyeon didn't recovered yet from the mournful of losing his lover.  At least he was still there, breathing, although it was as good as dying, Chanyeol would say. 

 

Chanyeol and Baekhyun tried their best to make Junmyeon laugh again, but in between affection, Baekhyun would send a death glare, and chanyeol easily took the cue. Ah, that sensible guy should at least put a little trust on him, for god sake, he wasn't that dumb....

 

It was unnecessary to warn him - it was not even needed. Although he still didn't get over yet with his little crush o Junmyeon, it wasn't like he can't control himself. If anything, Junmyeon was the last person he would hurt....

 

And he didn't want to hurt Soo young's heart either....

 

Their friendship run like usual, but since Lu Han was no longer there, Baekhyun was always being by Junmyeon's side. If  Chanyeol and Soo Young had date, Baekhyun and Junmyeon would stuck up together, it appeared as if they had double date and people would have mistaken them as couple too. 

 

It was difficult for Chanyeol not to feel envious of Baekhyun ,,,,

 

It was Baekhyun who effortlessly made Junmyeon laughed again by his wicked joke, it was Baekhyun who always got the chance to share the pop corn or any other junk food with Junmyeon whenever they were in movie theatre, and it was still Byun Baekhyun who just casually hugged Junmyeon when ever he felt like it, without fear being judged or anything.....Baekhyun here and Baekhyun there….

If Baekhyun would send him a death glare, Chanyeol would return back the glare with his jealous stare.... although he didn't even have any right to. 

In midst of mess, Chanyeol felt grateful that Soo Young and Junmyeon were oblivious with the whole situation. 

 

Sometime, Chanyeol would spend his time only with Soo Young.  Soo Young always concerned about Junmyeon even during their time together.

Soo Young was always kind hearted enough, she took care Junmyeon well. She tried her best to comfort the elder although she didn't possess hilarious personality like Baekhyun. 

 

Chanyeol couldn’t feel guilty enough to Soo Young. Feeling ashamed and so wrong crumpled his heart. Indeed, Chanyeol felt guilty for many other reasons as well. He thought he was the worst person to ever exist in this world....

 

He didn't even have enough courage to tell Soo Young about his real self. Five years in relationship but he still didn't have faith on Soo Young to accept him as what he really was. 

 

But in the end, he only had himself to be blamed upon for everything.  

Despite of uncertainty, despite of overwhelming fear, he knew better than anyone, he should put this to an end. 

Chanyeol mustered every courage in him to finally open up to Soo Young and revealed his real self, because he knew it very well, Soo Young would definitely discover it sooner or later; it was just a matter of time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_He was flame, a light of hope, always in dream that somebody could accept his real self, the ugly him hidden inside, but in his darkest soul, he held fear...._

_Fear of being hated, fear of being casted out, fear of being forsaken.... for who he truly was._

_and Chanyeol really wanted to burn himself out of his fear..._

_Burn and burn and burn....and the light was getting weaker and weaker till the flame no longer out, he’d been incinerated…There was nothing left in him more, It’s all gone; every dream, every wish, every desire._

_The flames consumed Chanyeol and he was going to burn into ashes; cold, disappear and forgotten forever…_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The night was silent, cold and calm as usual, Junmyeon noticed when he had a look outside through the opened window of his bedroom. He was about to sleep, but he loved to enjoy the night breeze one last moment before closing his eyes. 

 

 With the full moonlight illuminated the darkness, Junmyeon eyes wandered far away into starry night sky, as if he was drawn into it. He just let the cold, clammy air prickled his face. Junmyeon sighed. 

 

Junmyeon can't help but noted there's subtle changes in the atmosphere before it gradually became apparent. The starry night seemed to be crying, as the red, bloody drops slowly blotched the sky, matted to each other before gradually becoming one and blended with tarry colour of the night ...

The scenery was nothing but spectacular and Junmyeon was astounded by the surrounding. 

 

A flock of moths could be seen flied all over the place, but it seemed that they gathered themselves and flied toward one direction. 

 

Strange feeling creeped in his gut, he felt like he heard his name being called by somebody - someone really needed him right now, although he was unsure....

 

Junmyeon wondered why...

 

"Junmyeon, hurry up..." Minseok's voice shook an amazed Junmyeon without alarm.  Junmyeon diverted his gaze toward the other. 

 

Besides Minseok was Baekhyun, who really looked very much in trouble.

Junmyeon dumbfounded for a while, glaring back and forth between Minseok and Baekhyun, before giving them a confuse look. "Hurry up? Where? what's happening?"

 

Minseok knew it can't be helped if Junmyeon bewildered, because he was the one who came to the other without any prior notice but currently, they were really running out of time. 

 

"Just follow me," Minseok said, while he grasped Junmyeon's right hand. "But Chanyeol really need you...I'll explain it later on our way to him .." Minseok worded his promise.

 

Ah, that was the only logical explanation that could answer his wondering mind -  Why he felt like somebody asked for help, calling out his name, and the strange feeling of his that the moths appeared to be begging him to follow them.

 

Junmyeon nodded, putting his trust toward the elder....

____________

 

"Junmyeon, will you give yourself a chance to love and be loved again....." Baekhyun asked during their rush. It was not a right timing to ask or talk about romance, but Baekhyun didn't give a damn - may be it wasn't the right timing, but it was exactly the perfect moment to meddle.

Junmyeon wasn't expecting Baekhyun to ask him question that revolved around emotion at that exact moment, but Junmyeon wasn't surprise either. 

 

"What do you mean, Baekhyun?" Junmyeon asked, after having so many thoughts pounded into his mind, but yet he still unable to digest them out to reach into one single conclusion. 

 

"Do you see the moths?....we are going to tract Chanyeol by following them" This time, it was Minseok's turn to ask, but he didn't wait for Junmyeon to reply because obviously the younger could see that.  "Chanyeol is a fire wielder. It is fortunate and unfortunate luck all at the same time to possess such power, because unlike any other super power, it comes together with hidden monster," Minseok stated, beginning to reveal one by one. 

 

"All this while, the monster inside him remain quiescent, Chanyeol holds the other side of him pretty well, because it never emerges the longest time I’ve knew him, " Baekhyun supplied. 

 

"I guess nothing serious had happened to him all this while, but the fact that he never encounter one tragic moment in his life also mean that he never prepare himself well to suppressing the innate monster inside him........in other words, he was lacking with that kind of experience...."

 

Junmyeon paid full attention to both Minseok and Baekhyun. Every newfound was registered into his skull, but they still didn't provide him enough clue to what was exactly had happened to Chanyeol. But, he was pretty sure there must be something happening to Chanyeol that triggered the monster inside him….

 

"Chanyeol finally come out to Soo Young. It's never been easy to Chanyeol even in the very first place to be born with fire ability, because it seem to come with a curse....So it takes all of him to finally tell Soo young the truth.... "

 

It came to him that... Chanyeol had been suffering an invisible agonizing pain, cried out alone all these while without telling him, even just for a little. A pang of regret constricted his heart, it ached him more than anything for not knowing how much the other bore the pain all by himself. 

 

Chanyeol who always so bright, who always light up others, but how irony,  his darkest side had been hidden so well underneath his cheerful demeanour.  Junmyeon felt full of regret, can't stop blaming himself for his inability to detect the immense pain that Chanyeol was suffering. 

 

"The sad truth is, not everyone can accept your flaws, it's unfortunate that it happened to Chanyeol too - it's seemed that everything is over for Chanyeol the moment he told the truth..." Minseok spelled out.

 

"It looked like he's been heavily consumed by the monster inside him - he's losing it. He can no longer suppress the evil soul who only waits for the right time to take over him...."

If Chanyeol was already losing his sanity, if Chanyeol already losing his mind to think straight, then there's only one way out for fire wielder such as Chanyeol......

No, it's couldn't mean that.... Junmyeon screamed internally when sudden realization gushed to him.  Junmyeon couldn't afford to lose another dearest life to him. Couldn't afford to lose Park Chanyeol!!!!

 

"Chanyeol...."  Junmyeon muttered, letting out a shaky breath. "Hyung, you didn't mean to say that...he is going to take his own life by setting himself on fire....,"

"Unfortunately, Junmyeon.... that's the cruellest fate.. That's why we have to be faster..." Minseok replied, while speeding up the truck. He still able to look calm as usual even in the most edgy situation. 

 

\------

 

It was getting hotter and hotter Junmyeon noticed as they were approaching the scene, after unrelentingly following the flying moths. The smoke continuously attacking their nostrils and felt thicker, it was started to feel difficult even to breath. The inhaled smoke awfully felt bitter, pungent and sharp in their already dry throat, and they started to cough up several times.

 

....and Junmyeon didn't fail to notice that the number of moth became lesser and lesser as well, as if they had been captivated by the charming flame, but being entrapped and unable to find their way out. Perhaps, may be they always know they were going to be engulfed by the menacing wild fire, but unable to hold their desire to get closer to them. 

 

"Like a moth to the flame, huh..." 

 

Sea of golden and reddish colour, was the first thought that came across Junmyeon's mind when they arrived at the forest skirt. The fuzzy image of wildfire was reflected upon the surrounding river and filled up the sky, illuminating the entirety of dark night. 

 

The red flame burned everything that came into its contact, almost half of the forest was on fire. It was dangerous and exhilarating, breath taking and overwhelming, all at the same time. 

 

"From here onward, everything will be even more dangerous especially for you, Baekhyun. So, only Junmyeon and me will proceed further up. Just wait for us here, okay...." Minseok gave his command. 

 

"Ah, be careful both of you...." Baekhyun reminded. "Junmyeon hyung, you're our only hope. I put my trust on you.  So, please bring Chanyeol back safely...." Baekhyun pleaded, as he placed his hands on both Junmyeon's shoulders, starring deep into him. His eyes and his voice were full hope. 

 

"I will.., " Junmyeon replied,  keeping Chanyeol at the back of his mind. He knew, they really were running out of time. 

Junmyeon summoned the rain, very gentle rain, just enough to cool down the temperature and to protect still free from fire area or objects from getting touch by fire. He didn't try to fight the flame nor making it extinguish....

He didn't even have to say any single word to Minseok. The elder was already starting to act on his role, without saying anything nor need to be told as such.

 

Junmyeon knew his hyung. Minseok was always a reliable brother for him although he didn’t say much word.

 

Minseok was creating a path by building two sides of ice walls so that two of them could go in. The ice melted along the way as being licked by the fire, but sufficed to protect them.

 

The wave of wildfire started to lose its strength and it became faint once they reached the centre of burned out forest. 

 

"Chanyeol....Chanyeol....." Both junmyeon and minseok shouted the fugitive's name out. Their voice echoed throughout entire forest. 

 

Junmyeon can feel it, Chanyeol was just nearby, but he couldn't pin point where exactly the other was.  Smoke was blocking their vision, and some of it entered their eyes- tears well up because it sting too much. 

 

Junmyeon was very much dependent on his sixth sense right now. 

 

They were about to walk further in when his ears picked up cracking sound of decayed wood and the rustle sound from sudden jolt of movement.... it appeared to him somebody was trying to run away....

 

Junmyeon instinctively halted from continuing his step. Minseok followed immediately.  "Chanyeol?" Junmyeon asked once more, trying to confirm his thought. 

 

Only the slow burning noise at the background could be heard. But the field of vision gradually became clearer to both of them as the smoke slowly faded, and a shadowy figure imperceptibly appeared through the midst of haze. 

Junmyeon and Minseok looked into each other, exchanging the glance and the elder later on gave him an understanding look. 

 

" I want to go to Chanyeol all by myself...." Junmyeon timidly requested, voice muffled, uncertain whether his hyung will allow him or not. 

 

"Hyung want to accompany you, Junmyeon, but I know, Chanyeol only need you there. So, I am not going to follow your back but you will always have my back for whatever it is..." Minseok said calmly, smiled a little bit, as he pushed the black bang covering Junmyeon's forehead up. " You are going to have only yourself there, so please be extra careful...."

 

Junmyeon nodded, understanding one and every single word and implications. "Thank you hyung..."  Junmyeon said. 

 

"So, this is what it is. I'll be waiting for you here..." Minseok muttered . 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Junmyeon slowly walked to the shadowy form. He was fully aware that Minseok was not that very far away from him, but his legs instantaneously shaky and trembling as he took every step toward the intimidating creature, as the growling sound became even more louder to him.  

 

"Chanyeol....." Junmyeon muttered the other's name once he clearly saw the furious figure, hoping that the other would hear him.....

 

And Junmyeon stopped walking straight away once the creature glared to him. It didn't do anything to Junmyeon yet, in fact, he sat still under the burning tree, but his deathful eyes were enough to send shiver down to his spine.

 

So, this was the beast form of Chanyeol that Minseok had been talking about earlier....

 

The creature was massively huge, double size of his human form, making him a hulk, Junmyeon would say. His right eye was bright red, while his left was grey, both were large and murderous to look at. His hair was ashes grey, and his whole dark body appeared to be covered by ash all over. Its ear shells were huge, hanging up more than the usual. The clothes that it wore, wrapped around it tightly as most part was badly torn.

 

and last but not the least, the most interesting part was, the beast also possessed wing, half of its size. 

 

It was totally terrifying, if Junmyeon was to be honest to himself. In the midst of the growling mixed with howling sound, Junmyeon sensed the sadness and misery in it, as if pleading something from him...

 

"Chanyeol...." Junmyeon repeated that beast's name for umpteenth times, hoping for some response. But to his dismay, the sharp howling sound became even louder....

 

"Chanyeol, can you hear me.?..." Junmyeon asked, to reassure, as Minseok had reminded him that there might probability that Chanyeol might losing his mind in this state - Chanyeol probably unable to recognize him anymore. 

 

The only reply that Junmyeon got from the beast was in the form of roaring sound, shouting back at him. It was very resounding, the vibration reverberating the night, and for a while Junmyeon thought he had went deaf. 

 

Junmyeon closed his eyes shut, as if afraid to get any more scolding. The pain came from deafening sound was unbearable, it sliced his ear drum and nerve ending through and through. 

 

Junmyeon's body already been weakened by the beast's sound alone, and he himself was unsure if he could hold himself any longer. .

 

But he mustered every strength left in him to remain stand and moved toward the monster, as he slowly walked approaching it. It was true he felt scared, frightened and terrified, but what scared him the most above all was the thought of losing somebody who was dearest to him. What made him terrified the most was losing purest, brightest smile of his, and what frightened him the most, was ...losing the warmth of his kindness forever......

 

Junmyeon didn't want to see the flame to disappear forever, right before his eyes...

Like a month to the flame, he was willing to do anything....was willing to burn his own limbs just to touch the most beautiful, the most radiant, the most captivating flame he had ever laid his eyes on...

 

Junmyeon was about to make another step, when a very deep, baritone voice paused him. He was just a few foots away from the beast, “Junmyeon, please don't come near me...." it said. 

 

It was not like Junmyeon didn't hear the request, it was not like he ignored it, but he chose not to listen, he chose against the words, as he stepped forward further, even with his shuddering legs. 

 

"Get out from here.... Don't come any further.,." the voice wailed...

But Junmyeon still walked and walked, the more the voice said not to, the more he wanted to get nearer...

 

"Which part of my words you didn't understand!!!!"  the voice suddenly snapped, losing the last bit of its sanity as it violently grabbed Junmyeon by his narrow middle and threw him away in random direction. Defenceless Junmyeon landed to the ground with a loud thud, quite far away from the original site. 

 

Junmyeon winced in pain as a result from the strong impact of landing by buttocks first. The shooting pain crawled his entire spine every time he tried to move his legs, he bit his lower lips in an attempt to endure the pain. 

 

The monster completely became wild again, it was looking at Junmyeon with this sharp angry glare before gradually turning itself into fire.....

 

"Chanyeol....please...." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol tried his best to control himself, tried his best to suppress the murderous instinct of his beast form to kill or injure any living thing....

 

But in one moment, his every sense of insight and judgement had been blunted by pure destructive instinct that took over his soul. 

 

Chanyeol hated himself to be seen in his beast, ugly form, by the person if anything, should have been the last person to discover him in this form. Junmyeon was the last person he ever wanted to be met, Junmyeon should be the last person to know how disgusting his other side was. 

 

He was in utter ashamed, mortified and bewildered...

 

But Junmyeon was completely stubborn, determined, and earnest Chanyeol noted, as the elder was still approaching him, was still moving forward despite on his very much shaky legs, despite Chanyeol's initial warning growl. 

 

Junmyeon was always so small to Chanyeol, but now he was even more. His heart softened a bit when he looked at how much fragile and tiny the elder's look by his perceptive point of view.

 

The small man was greatly trembling, Chanyeol wondered why.... Did the other feel intimidated? But then, Junmyeon kept on approaching him... Didn't he feel any scare of him? even for a bit?

 

Chanyeol by any mean, didn't want to harm Junmyeon...even though in his beast form, and he barely recognize people, but Junmyeon's soft and warm voice easily recognizable to him. His subconscious mind wanted to protect Junmyeon, wanted to shield him from any danger....that was the only reason he found himself saying "Don't come near me...."  and  "Get away from here...." .He realised he was lethal, even to Junmyeon.....Thus, he didn't want Junmyeon to touch him, to hold him - the most disgusting being who didn't deserve to be loved by somebody as beautiful as Junmyeon. 

 

Unwanted and unwelcome thought came to him the moment Junmyeon was very close to him, and it was spreading too fast like a wildfire...too furious, and too volatile. Junmyeon was almost touching him gave jolt to his nerve, the wave of shock electrocuted him from any last bit of sanity he was still holding....and in that spur of time, Chanyeol without himself knowing what he was doing - yanked the small man and threw him violently to the ground. 

 

He couldn't recognize himself any longer.....he always knew flame was always burning hot, but he just couldn't feel it in himself as the red fire was slowly enveloping him.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Chanyeol......please...."

 

The pleading voice of his own name echoed in his darkest mind, like a wave of ocean that greeted the shore. Wave of awareness came to him softly...

Junmyeon was lying helplessly on the ground, looking at  him with fragile look in his glassy eyes was the first thing that Chanyeol saw once he regained back his sense. Only then he realized he had injured the pale male without himself knowing what he had done...

 

He can’t forgive himself for hurting the person he loved the most.

"Chanyeol....please stop burning yourself....please listen to me....."

 

But it was of no use as chanyeol himself lost his control over the fire. The flame wouldn't stop burning him and finally incinerate its wielder into ashes, unwanted ..the cruellest fate that he came to accept.

 

It was an irony how he shed tears in the midst of fire....but, Junmyeon's feeling was a total miracle to Chanyeol...

 

" I love you, Chanyeol....please stay with me....Please don't go....."

His heart bloomed in happiness as he heard love confession coming straight from Junmyeon, even in the last moment of his life. 

 

His heart beat gradually became slower and weaker, and Chanyeol realised that he didn't have much time to hold on -this was going to his final moment as his heart turned into scar. 

 

Chanyeol closed his eyes...the tears of mix feeling streaming in his closed eyes...He sighed, enjoying a bit of last moment in a weird way, as he silently wished farewell to the pale man. 

 

Chanyeol knew that Junmyeon was slowly striding toward him while holding the pain. Junmyeon's leg was shaking, but his heart didn't waver.  The stepping sound became closer to him, but Chanyeol knew both of them stand no chance, he was going to be disintergrated anyway.......

But he never expected Junmyeon to come very close to him and his right hand touched the fire....

 

"Open your eyes, Chanyeol...." Junmyeon said as his hand touch the flame, slowly about to reach Chanyeol's face. The flame wasted no time licking its way on the sleeve of Junmyeon’s shirt. 

 

"What are you doing, Junmyeon hyung? You're going to hurt yourself...."Chanyeol retaliated, knowing that Junmyeon was in pain in order to reach him.....He was burning himself in that process. 

 

But the moment Junmyeon's fingers timidly touched and caressed Chanyeol's skin on his left cheek was a pure miracle....His heart started to beat faster, stronger, and Chanyeol could feel by himself that the blood in the veins started to run again over his entire body. 

 

"I'd rather losing one of my arm than losing you forever....I don't want to  lose the most beautiful flame I've ever seen which is you, Chanyeol....." Junmyeon replied, as he traced Chanyeol's skin with his fingers tip. He was smiling, but shaking in tears.  The flame became gradually smaller, as if losing its animosity to fight. 

 

"Aren't you afraid of me, Junmyeon hyung?" Chanyeol asked.

 

"I am, chanyeol, I'm not going to lie.....but what afraid me the most is losing the light of my life...." Junmyeon gave his honest reply, by that time, flame completely fade away -Junmyeon's touch was magical for Chanyeol.

 

"I' m too ugly hyung ...Beast like me is too disgusting to look at...." Chanyeol who still felt insecure of everything, worded his mind. 

 

But Junmyeon was calm as he replied, "Being a beast doesn't mean you're ugly.....Being a beauty, doesn't mean you're beautiful either....Every inch of you is beautiful Chanyeol, inside out... You're the most beautiful flame and I don't want you to extinguish forever before my eyes...."

 

Junmyeon's fingers delicately lingered on Chanyeol's lips for a good few moments....His eyes were trailing, as if wondering if he should go further, but the pale male tipped toe, as he grabbed and pulled Chanyeol down a bit by his neck so that.,....

 

Junmyeon's lips finally was on his, soft but solid, all at the same time, the only answer that was needed to dispel any of Chanyeol's doubt...

and it was surreal, the kiss- the only last thing that Chanyeol could remember before he closed his eyes completely….  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol's eyes stuttered opened, as the warm, shyly light of sunray longingly grazed them. It was new day, Chanyeol noticed, after having a longest dream he could ever think of. He wouldn't have known how many days had been passed by, but the mist of morning fresh air lingered on his skin was rejuvenating, a pure bliss, and he might have had mistaken that he was already in the heaven if it wasn't the shooting backache that ruin a bit of the moment. 

 

Ah, he's still alive, he reminded himself regardless...

And his eyes were granted by the sight of sleeping Junmyeon. Chanyeol just starred at that gentle and delicate face, relishing himself with  pure beauty who was lying by his side.  Ah, suddenly Chanyeol remembered how his hands felt so itchy to paint Junmyeon's face with flowers .. With his eyes was closing, Junmyeon looked so calm and peaceful....It was a total blessing to wake up on every morning, by the sight of sleeping Junmyeon.....

 

Chanyeol thought he would have been staring at Junmyeon all day long if it was not for Minseok's voice that stirred his delight up. 

 

"Ah, i see...you already woke up...." Minseok said, smiling. 

 

"For how long we've been passed out?" Chanyeol asked out of curiosity. He blushed, as he realized that Minseok would have noticed him starring at his younger brother longer than necessary. In the miserable attempt of trying to cover up, Chanyeol sat up immediately, rubbing his nape with his left hand as he looked at Minseok sheepishly. 

 

His eyes wandered everywhere, ah, they were in centre of green house, the thought registered immediately into his mind, as he saw beautiful flowers sorrounding them. 

"Like three days?” Minseok replied. 

 

"What?" Chanyeol asked to confirm what he had heard. Surprise evident on his face, as his eyes appeared as if they were popped out 

  

"Yes, you’ve heard it correctly…It has been three days...." Minseok stated, confirming. 

 

"Okay..." Chanyeol mumbled weakly, unsure what to reply. 

" Don't say that... You're very heavy Park Chanyeol......" Minseok teased Chanyeol a bit.

 

"Ah, sorry for that....." Chanyeol grinned. His tone half mocking, half apologize, but gratefulness laced in his voice as he resumed, " Thank you for saving me."

 

"You're welcome although i didn't do much... Perhaps, you should thanks Junmyeon more .. He is the one who have saved you...He's your life saver..." 

 

There was no dispute that Junmyeon had saved him from himself, had saved him from his own weakness, insecure and self doubt. Chanyeol owed his life to Junmyeon a lot, he was forever in debt with the elder. 

 

Chanyeol looked back at Junmyeon who was still sleeping, this time his entire small frame.  " What happened to Junmyeon hyung? " he asked, frowning, as his eyes caught on Junmyeon's state - the elder lost his right upper limb, stumped at the level of mid arm.

"You mean his right upper limb?" Minseok asked  Chanyeol and the younger meekly nodded.

 

"Oh, it had been severely injured by burn, and Yixing, our personal doctor, has no other option but to amputate it to save Junmyeon's life..." Minseok explained calmly, as if it was nothing. It was a wonder for Chanyeol, because  he expected Minseok to get mad at him or scowled at him, but Minseok's tone didn't hint any of it even for a trace. 

 

A pinch of guilty creeped into Chanyeol's heart, he could only blame himself for the loss of Junmyeon's limb. Junmyeon was always too kind, a little white lily who never hesitate to sacrifice himself for others, even though he was always too fragile. 

 

"I'm sorry..." Chanyeol muttered, lacking of better word -  feeling of regret and sorrow was bigger than just sorry, but no other word came up to him. His throat just  felt dry, he chocked at his own word.

 

"Please don't " Minseok disputed. "He said he's very happy, even at the cost of his own life... it's worth it because you are still alive, and you're still here with him..." he reassured. "I bet, you're the first person he wants to see the moment he opens up his eyes, so please cheer him up, "Minseok said. "I entrust my younger brother to you...so, please take care of him well..."

Chanyeol and Minseok exchanged glance for a good few seconds. Chanyeol nodded, understanding the weight behind those words before making a vow, "I promise that I'll protect him with my own life...." 

 

Minseok laughed..." Tell that to him, not me you silly...."

"But you're his brother, Minseok hyung, of course I have to tell you...." Chanyeol said in soft mocking voice. 

 

Chanyeol scanned back Junmyeon by his own eyes, fern and a white lily in Junmyeon's hold caught his attention. Ah, Junmyeon's heart was always beautiful, so beautiful, that even his in sleep, he wanted to protect small creatures too. Unknowingly, Chanyeol smiled silently, because how can he not? Every little thing in Junmyeon was too precious to him. 

 

"Junmyeon hyung...." Chanyeol mumbled his hyung's name quietly, without any intention to wake him up..... Ah, word couldn't do justice how much he missed his Junmyeon hyung, his tiny hyung, his little beautiful white lily.....

 

As if he knew his name had been summoned by his other half, Junmyeon slowly opened his eyes..."Chanyeol...." he muttered, voice sounded so weak and feeble, eyes were not fully open yet. 

 

"Junmyeon hyung...." Chanyeol uttered the elder's name excitedly. Like a giant puppy he was, Chanyeol wasted no time pounced a still weak body, bringing him into a  bone crushing hug. Junmyeon was utterly clueless for a while, but he easily reciprocated it as he rest his head onto Chanyeol's shoulder.

 

"I miss you, Junmyeon hyung...." he blurted out. 

"I know...and I miss you too, Chanyeol...." Junmyeon replied. 

 

"Just be careful not to hug him to tightly, I know you're super excited and all, but you're almost crushing him, Park Chanyeol..." Minseok playfully interrupted their heartwarming moments. 

 

Chanyeol's face turned into crimson, embarrassed, but of course, he missed his Junmyeon hyung, even right now. He detached himself just to have a better look on Junmyeon..." I am sorry...." he mumbled. "Are you okay,  Junmyeon hyung Chanyeol asked, to ensure that Junmyeon was fine. 

 

"Of course I am..." Junmyeon exclaimed. He was blushing too.

Chanyeol smiled as his right hand gripped Junmyeon's hand at wrist, taking care not to damage the fern and white lily, and brought it to their centre. His left hand joined them, now that both of Chanyeol's hands hold Junmyeon's.

 

Without having to be asked, as if understanding something, Minseok excused himself but not without roasting Chanyeol first .."I guess you guy need some  privacy, right? I think I shall be going then," he said, teasingly winked at Chanyeol."But Park Chanyeol, please don't try anything funny to Junmyeon...." Minseok reminded Chanyeol in teasing way.  

Of course Chanyeol didn't know how to reply that remark, but Junmyeon saved him from further being embarrassed by Minseok.

 

"Minseok hyung....."Junmyeon whined in cute way.

"Ah, okay okay...got it....." Minseok made a surrender gesture before funnily exited himself. 

 

Junmyeon observed Minseok, ensuring his brother completely out of his sight before turning his attention back to Chanyeol. "Now, it's only two of us here....." he said, a gentle smile formed on his beautiful face. 

 

"Yeah..." Chanyeol replied, lacking of better word because Junmyeon in front of him was just too beautiful, and it was just satisfying to just stare at him. 

 

They just stared into each other's eyes, no word was exchanged in between them. For a good few seconds, the enjoyed their moment together silently...

Chanyeol's large hands slowly lingered, wrapping gently the fern and white lily too, as if he wanted to protect them too.

 

"Hyung, thank you for saving me from myself...So, this time around, in the future, even in the heaven, I want to protect you too, together with the flower...." Chanyeol gave his words. "Please depend on me too..."he pleaded.  

Junmyeon chuckled sweetly. Ah, giant Chanyeol was too precious, begging him like this, as if his life was depending on it. And he was cheesy too!

 

He can't just disappoint him by saying otherwise. ..

 

"Of course you silly...now I only have one hand, I would depend on you a lot...So, please don't regret it later on...." Junmyeon joked. 

 

"No..Never.. that's my promise... " Chanyeol professed. "because....I've always love you since the longest time...So, please let me pick the most beautiful flower here, and in my eyes it has always been you..."

 

After saying how much he missed his Junmyeon hyung, and continue talking then and there only just now Chanyeol confessed. Junmyeon chortled again, it couldn't be help he guessed, his Park Chanyeol was always being endearingly clumsy since forever....he never changed a bit, ever since they first met each other even till now. Ah, he never thought back then it was something that he needed up till now - the clumsiness in Park Chanyeol was something that naturally brightened up his day. 

Chanyeol as expected ruined the moment up, but Junmyeon loved Chanyeol enough to let it slide..He just in love with Chanyeol....

 

"What are you now?  A sun or a bee?" Junmyeon asked teasingly, didn't fully recovered from his previous laugh...

 

"I can be both, only if you let me be...If I was a sun, I'll radiate ray which blooms you even more..If I was a bee, of course... it's kinda bee over white lily?" Chanyeol replied. Junmyeon laughed even more, after multiple failed attempts to stop burst. 

The answer might be sounded ridiculous a bit at the end, but, Junmyeon never had a good big laugh like that, so it was worth to make a fool of himself at the end.

 

"You're having a very good laugh right now, don't you think so, little white lily? I guess you can't even resist my clumsy charm. So, will you let me pick you up, and be my white lily forever? " Chanyeol proposed. 

 

" I love you too Chanyeol. Of course, I let you pick me up, and be your white lily too..." Junmyeon gave his answer.

 

Junmyeon's eyes beamed full of happiness and pure delight. With the fern and white lily still in the middle of them, they kissed. It was a slow, passionate kiss. The one that was filled with all of the love they had for each other. 

 

But, Junmyeon didn't expect the 'pick up' to be REAL, as Chanyeol let his hand go to slowly lift him up, carrying him bridal style..

 

"Put me down, you idiot...." Junmyeon whined. 

"No never...As a promise, I'll pick you up from now on..." Chanyeol replied as he carried Junmyeon without difficulty. A soft mock laced in his voice.  His hyung was so light, was so tiny in his strong arms, and Chanyeol felt nothing but honoured to be able to protect this precious white lily. 

 

Junmyeon couldn't really say no to Chanyeol, he didn't want the tale lanky guy to pout either. 

 

"If you were a bee, then I was a white lily, like a bee to the white lily.." Junmyeon uttered.

 

"If I was flame, then you were a moth, like a moth to the flame.."   Chanyeol returned the answer. 

 

Junmyeon's heart was in the bloom. He could feel Chanyeol's warmth and love in the strong arms of his, protecting him. He felt small, being carried by Chanyeol, but he simply liked it. 

 

And Junmyeon could see magical thing happened by his own eyes, the flowers of multiple colors bloomed happily, as if they cherished and granted their blessing for both Chanyeol and Junmyeon. Junmyeon knew there would never be better spring other than this one - spring with Park Chanyeol.

 

With Chanyeol by his side, Junmyeon knew his spring would never be the same again. Perhaps, there would be many new journeys awaiting them to be ventured together - their love sonnet would still be continued....

 

 

_“Be with me forever, Junmyeon hyung….so that we can create the seven coloured rainbow together….”_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

** EPILOGUE **

 

A soft trickling sensation was felt over his skin as a brush gently been swept on his left sided chest and face. 

 

Junmyeon not knew what kind of flowers being painted on him but he felt relax under the artist's touch, ridiculously was almost dozing off too, if it wasn't for Chanyeol's husky voice that rouse him up. 

 

"Hey, Junmyeon hyung..Wake up, I already finish my painting up..." Chanyeol softly whispered, right into Junmyeon's ears. 

 

It wasn't that difficult task at all to wake Junmyeon up...not at all, as Junmyeon slowly opened his eyes. " Ah, sorry..." he apologized.

 

Chanyeol giggled in amusement. "You like this too much hyung, aren't you?." Chanyeol didn't miss the chance to tease Junmyeon.

 

Of course he was, because Chanyeol's touch was always a miracle - always gentle and full of care, and his work was always breath taking.  He can't wait to see it by his own eyes.

 

Ever since in relationship, they made an arrangement to paint Junmyeon once in every week. Junmyeon easily agreed with the idea, because he wanted to know too, how Chanyeol's paint will look like on his face. As give back, Chanyeol would help Junmyeon with his florist shop. Chanyeol, with his gangly limbs bumbling around and knocking things over in the middle of green house but Junmyeon had never been this happy. Junmyeon was totally okay with clumsy Chanyeol who look so clueless surrounded by small flowers, wondering what to do with hose and trowel in his hands. It was an endearing sight to look at. Chanyeol occasionally set up a small fire by incidence, or splashing water to him but Junmyeon never had heart to really get mad at him. After all, Chanyeol was always eager and insistent to learn and he improved a lot over the course of time.

 

Junmyeon couldn’t get enough of Chanyeol as the tall guy always showered him with everlasting love. Chanyeol loved to play with butterflies in garden and sent cheesy messages through them, saying ‘I’m yours’, ‘you’re mine’, ‘my beautiful white lily’ or simply ‘I love you’. Junmyeon unsure for how many times his heart had been stolen by this man, but….

 

Unknowingly, he smiled after reading the messages. Certainly, everyday was his spring, twenty-four hours per day, seven days per week, 365 days per year.

 

 

\--

 

His jaw hang opened in awe as he saw his own reflection. It was not his first to witness the magical in Chanyeol's art on his face, he had it countless times, but it never failed to mesmerize him. Primrose, violet, orchid, chammomile of various colours and size adorned his face and chest, with fern leaf in crawling in between, the paint was utterly beautiful to look at. 

 

"Beautiful..." Junmyeon complimented. 

 

"Of course, you're beautiful as always, Junmyeon hyung..." Chanyeol supplied. 

 

"No, I mean your painting...I like everything about this paint, the colour, the texture, the detail..."Junmyeon praised the younger.

"I heard it multiple times already..."Chanyeol jested. 

"But you like it when the compliments come from me..." Junmyeon protested softly. 

"Of course... masterpiece in masterpiece..but the true masterpiece is you..." Chanyeol wowed Junmyeon for umpteen times - because his lover was totally a work of art coming straight from God himself. 

 

A soft pink tainted on Junmyeon's soft cheeks - because his heart was in the bloom, being spoiled by praises and compliments.  Chanyeol was of no joke when he told he was going to be Junmyeon's sunshine, although in joking way, because he truly was.  

 

Despite losing his right limb, Junmyeon smiled brighter than ever...Channyeol couldn't thankful enough to Junmyeon to give him another chance to live on, to witness his smile again, and to feel what's like to be loved by the one he loved, and the one who truly accept him. 

 

Junmyeon lost almost half of his power, but having Chanyeol by his side to protect and be his backbone made Junmyeon felt stronger than he ever been. The protective feeling to protect Junmyeon also became the sole reason for Chanyeol to master and gain control over his superpower. Thus, they were perfect in many ways behind the imperfection….

 

For Chanyeol it was an honour to be the sunshine for Junmyeon, for the rest of his life, to be the true reason behind his beautiful smile. The only smile that matter to him, the only smile that became his source of happiness and inspiration, the only smile that gave him an emotional ride even after multiple times of seeing it. Chanyeol made a lifetime vow to protect it dearly at all cost...

 

 


End file.
